“I Have Vision”

Vision Party with “Daddy’s Girls” 2019

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Hello everyone. I have been officially given the name, “The Vision Blogger” by my church sister, Rhoshonda Adkison, after she invited me to host a Vision Party for her ministry called “Daddy’s Girls”, which targets teenage girls, and helps them with life’s daily matters through Christ. Before Lady Rhoshonda brought the idea to me, I desired to do another Vision Party, but I wasn’t actively planning one. So, I felt like her inviting me was God telling me, “Don’t lose site of the Vision”. Plans immediately went into motion and the Vision I had for the encounter was not following through the way I wanted it, but God knew what needed to take place. All we needed to do was say, “Yes” and follow through and through the Vision Party, I believe our ministries, “babies” flourished in that very moment. We have an AMAZING Pastor and church, who allowed us to use the church, we started to promote it, bought supplies, and ended up having an AWESOME time.

photo collage maker_nqrnhu8801982095365190948..pngI started blogging a few years back and my purpose was to, basically allow people into my world and display my growth in the process because I literally had to grow up big time in the past few years. Yes, I was a mother. Yes, I was already an adult, but I would not say that I had fully grown up and, even now, I’m still growing daily. Somewhere in between me becoming an adult, a mother, then, a single mother, I lost my vision of where I was going. I hosted my first Vision Party in November of 2018. Here, we all made vision boards. These vision boards would not just be cut out pictures from a magazine pasted onto a board. They’re not just words or great sayings glued to a platform. They are visual displays of things you want to see happen in your life, things you want to do, places you want to go, or things you want to make better. The scripture I use for the vision parties and, also, my life, is Habbakuk 2:2-3. I like the way the English Standard Version reads. “And the Lord answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end-it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.”  So I questioned, how can you tell me it won’t delay but though it’s taking a while just wait for it patiently? I’m learning, daily, our time is not God’s time. We may say, “But God it’s taking so long.” And His word says for the vision is yet for an appointed time. Appointed means decided on beforehand. He knows the plan before we were formed. He knew what was going to be placed in your heart, what desires you would have. He answers more by saying it’s coming just wait on it. Wait on Him, He knows exactly when to produce what you’re asking for. I am learning to trust His timing. What if He gives it to me and I’m not ready? He knows. I just have to follow through with what He says.

4c34c9fc6c06694f8f5ea5e0f912b9253033300861469074118.jpgSo, every morning, I receive an alert when I’m leaving the house that tells me how long it’s going to take me to get to work. If the time given is not going to get me there on time, I check my map to find a faster route. This particular morning, my normal route was going to make me extremely late because of a crash on the highway. So there I was looking for another route to take. I found one that was going to make me late, but not as late as my normal route and typically, the way I drive, I can knock off a few minutes and be on time. But as I’m driving through the route given to me, which is unfamiliar areas, I receive a phone call. On my phone, I can follow the map as long as I am going the exact route given to me from the beginning. But I made a wrong turn and my phone failed to reroute me because I was using my data for a phone call I felt was important at that time. Instead of me getting off the call to find my way back onto the right route, I stayed on the phone. We do that a lot in life. We’re on a route but we get sidetracked by things that go on and become distracted. Instead of taking a step back and regrouping, we just continue to go in circles as I was doing on this route trying to get to work. So I get to a light and pull out my tablet to pull up that map to get back on the right route and realize I was going the right way twice but I decided it didn’t look like I was going the right direction so I just kept turning. Then, I hear, “All you had to do was stay the course”. God has given a plan. He’s given you a route. He gives alerts on this route. He shows you what’s coming up that may hinder or help you along the way. God is the way and all we have to do is stay the course. The route may not look the way you want it to, things may not be going how you want them to go. The route may take you through avenues that are unfamiliar, but if you’re following God, who is The Way, can He really steer you wrong?

Stay the course. Yes we make vision boards because they are things that we desire from God for our lives. A scripture I studied about desires was Psalm 37 verse 4 and it says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Now, before I learned how to actually study the Bible, I really thought this meant to be happy with the Lord or be happy in him and he will give you the desires of your heart but delight means to please someone greatly. So this scripture meant to me please God and do what he desires you to do and he will give you the desires of your heart and bring our Visions to pass.

Photos from Vision Party 2018

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Yesterday Was Tough…

Hello Family. Yesterday was tough. Many of you don’t know this, but I have been having issues with my youngest son, Edwin, in school. He has not been able to adjust as normal kids would from daycare to public school. I believe, since school started in August, I have received a call from the school, at least, every week about something he’s done, something he’s not doing, and more recently, things he has said. He is currently in the process of being tested for Special Education for his behavior through his school district and now they want me to have him tested for ADHD. Edwin had issues while in daycare, but he had an AMAZING teacher, who would see he was having a bad morning, pull him in, turn on some praise and worship music, and he’d ultimately pull it together. Now, with him being in public school, he has turned into a totally different person. I know, in public school, they have a lot more students and can’t tend to just one student out of respect for the other students’ learning, but it has gotten to the point where it has caused many distractions almost daily

My oldest son, Elijah started out at their school in Kindergarten and has been very popular since. So when his little sister and brother started there, the same support system I had for him are the same I have for my other children. Now, with the way Edwin has been performing, I have met a group of teachers I’ve never seen before in the previous years, Behaviorial Specialists. They teach Edwin how to control his emotions and give alternatives when you feel these different types of emotions instead of what he has been doing in the past. They are EXTREMELY patient with him and take time with him daily. As of late, there has been no progress. He has some good days, sporadically, but it will turn at the flip of a switch. These switches can flip from just about any little thing from him not being called on to answer a question to a student looking at him, at what he may feel, is the wrong time. He’ll throw things, kick walls, call people horrible names, and scream out very inappropriate words and phrases I have never heard him use, said around him, or let him listen to.

The minute the district started to talk about testing him for ADHD and Special Education, I was, right off the back, defensive and it was only because of what I had seen my mother go through with my brother, on television, and in my years of working in childcare. I never would’ve thought I would have to live with knowing my son could possibly be “labeled” as such. Please take into consideration that this is only what I was thinking at the time of them speaking about this and what my perspective of him having to deal with this was. Between having to go through this process the past 5 months with my son, having to deal with Medicaid switching over to CHIP where I now have to pay a copay every time he goes to the doctor because I make $67 over the limit to qualify for Medicaid, to them cancelling it and advising me the night before our appointment, to still trying to serve in ministry, to keeping a solid relationship with all of my children together and separately, and staying positive in my other relationship, yesterday, I had had enough. I walked out of my children’s school, into my car, and felt like I had, literally, lost my entire mind. I lost all control of EVERYTHING, almost every aspect of my life, at the same time, while trying to remember who’s, ultimately, in control of EVERYTHING.

“God, I’m not mad at you. I just don’t know what to do.”

This was all I could say in that moment because my reactions appeared as if I didn’t believe, but in the past going on 4 years, my FAITH has become a gift that could only come from God Himself. Truly, it took me losing someone most cherished to me for it to become stronger, but when he was removed, God showed me who was there the entire time and who would always be, HIM. God is all I have and I’m never going to give up on Him or forget He has given me a gift in my children and will never give up on them. No matter what I see or what obstacles may come my way, I WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE in HIM, on HIM, and HIS WORD. His Word says He’ll never put more on me than I can bear and I believe that with everything in me. If He gave it to me, He has, also, given me the tools to bear it. I ask for prayers through this time and any light you can shed on my son and this process is always appreciated. As always, BE BLESSED.