All posts by Ebony D. Miles

Hi. My name is Ebony. I live in Houston, Texas where I am a full-time county employee and mother of three. My oldest "PRINCE" is eight years old, "THE DIVA" is seven years old, and "THE RULER" is five years old. I love life and adore my children. I'm a very active member of Greater New Hope Church, a.k.a. "The Praisedome". My hobbies are reading, writing, singing, and working.

Finding peace through my broken pieces

To Question or Not To Question?

I know people have said never to question God, but I’m sorry, I do. Not knocking anyone who feels otherwise, but for me, I believe I can ask God ANYTHING and if it be His Will, I’ll receive an answer. I believe we all receive answers to many questions not through words, but mostly through actions. Have you ever gone another direction you never intended going, get a little frustrated because you realize going that way would take you longer to get to your destination? You ask God, “Why would you let me go that way?” God says nothing. Then, you find out if you would’ve gone your previous direction, you would’ve got caught in the middle of a situation that had the possibility to create even more damage than you imagined. God never had to say a word. He showed you the situation He protected you from. So, yes, I ask God why, and He answers.

On April 8, 2021, my entire world was rocked when I was terminated from my position with Harris County after almost 11 years of service (1 1/2 as a temporary, 9 1/2 permanent). I spoke about how much of a blessing it was to be placed in the Supervisor position almost 2 years ago. Little did I know, I was set up to go through the most hectic emotional roller coaster ride I have ever experienced in my life. I became extremely frustrated many days, upset, happy, upset again, which later turned into depression where I literally cried all the way to work and on the way home on numerous occasions.

I had heard many stories about my previous boss before I became hired, but I am the type to always have my own experience and try not to form an opinion based on what others say about a person or experience. Things were rocky from the beginning, but things took a drastic turn for the worse probably 4 months ago when I was reprimanded for receiving several personal phone calls while I was out sick (which could never be proven when asked to see the call log) and after finding a personal notebook on my desk, I was told I should not have a blog being that it could jeopardize my job. Even before then, there were things that transpired that created a hostile work environment. I finally realized things would never get better once my previous boss told me that she could not trust me and could not work with someone that she could not trust. Those words shook me to my core because she formed a distrust for me based on rumors she claimed I said about her involving a close relative of mine, which have yet to be proven. Surprisingly, this is what she placed in my letter, along with a mistake I made three months ago as reasons for my termination.

I am convinced the termination came when I asked to speak to the people she claimed stated I started the rumor. As quick as I asked was as quick as the termination process began to happen right before my very eyes. I went to my car for lunch the day before, drove to the back of the parking lot and cried until I felt I could cry no more. I questioned God. I felt like God had literally left me to rot there. Throughout my emotional roller coaster ride, I asked Him several times if I should stay because I never wanted to be out of the Will of God or move prematurely before I received the lesson or the blessing. I believed God had me there for a purpose. I don’t believe God allows things to just happen to us or place us in certain places or circumstances for fun. I do believe we go through to learn something, receive strength for the next place in our lives, and/or to show someone else God’s glory. What started out as a cry asking God why and telling Him to just remember me and everything He took me through, turned into a praise and a worship I would have never imagined to fall from my lips. At that moment, I said, “Whatever you do, I’m with it. Whatever they plan to do, allow them to do it quickly.” The next day, I walked in the building with a smile on my face and as I was escorted out by deputies, I grabbed my items with that same smile, made it to the parking lot, shook the dust off my feet, and drove away never to look back.

I will never underestimate myself or count myself out and make myself believe outside of what God has promised. He is faithful and if He promised it, I dare not allow the enemy or even myself to make me believe His promise won’t be manifested.

Excerpt from MY TESTIMONY-GOD HAS DONE IT AGAIN

When I talked about this position being a blessing, there were things I learned through that process I feel I am relearning even through this. Ironically, I have not cried one time since this day. At first, I was wondering if I was just holding it all in like I normally do to somehow showcase my strength in a sense. But, in these past few weeks, I have had so much peace, it has been unfathomable. What may seem like a truly messed up situation, this may sound downright crazy, but it showcased God’s love for me. He heard me. He heard my cry. He heard my plea. I remember telling God one day if He had to remove me from what I was so familiar with to give me the Peace I needed, so be it.

Of course, as a single mother and human, you go through those different ideas and thoughts of what’s next. If “I’m just out here trusting God” was a person, it’s me. I am solely leaning and depending on God for what’s next for my life. For now, I am pushing my business, “Vision Tees and Things”, I started last year and writing which will always be my first love. I am spending more time with God and with my children. I encourage anyone and everyone to just trust God. He has a plan and purpose. I know it may look bad. I know it feels bad, but He has already equipped you with exactly what you need to press through. Trust in the process. The promise is coming. I guarantee. This is not just a cliché. I will be the proof. Be Blessed.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philipians 4:7

My Love Letter To My Valentine

Dear Valentine,

Yesterday you allowed me to see something that I did not understand until later on. It wasn’t something that I was looking for. It’s just something that came across my view. But what I saw kind of threw off my day. I became agitated, irritated, just pathetic. When I had finally gotten to the point to where I became over it, all was well. What I saw still sat in the back of my mind, but it didn’t bother me like it had earlier in the day. I watched the movie of a couple go from middle school to high school with all these dreams to be together forever and what I saw came back to me like a ton of bricks. So when the movie ended I do what many single mothers do in pain. Turn the shower on, turn the music up as loud as I can, get in the shower, and cry my heart out to you. But, instead of thinking about everything that is going wrong, even though that’s how my cry started out, I begin to think about everything you do right. You make everything happen for a reason. If you did not allow me to see what I saw on yesterday, I would not have thought to release myself from whomever I needed to release myself from. I would not have broken soul ties that needed to be broken from my life. A few hours before Valentine’s Day, I cried my heart out to you. Told you how much I love you. I told you how much I needed you. I released my heart to you. I released my life to you. I released my soul and my spirit to you. I fully submitted my life to you. And as I watched the water go down the drain of the tub, I proclaimed the tears in that same water go down the drain forever. I will not have to cry about this again. I told you how I still have the faith to believe in you and Trust in the plan you have for me. I told you I wanted my desire to match your plan and purpose for my life. I believe you are going to give me the desires of my heart because I totally depend on you to have my heart and never break it. I love you. You have my heart Forever and always.

Signed,

Your child.

to begin, begin…

Like many people in this world, I can be a little too hard on myself. How hard I am on my children to get stuff done and do things right, I am just as hard on myself if I don’t fully accomplish something or make mistakes. I know we’re all human and the way life is set up, it’s not always going to go right, but that doesn’t stop me from pushing myself to do my absolute best in everything I set my hands to do. With that being said, in a previous post, I talked about three things I set out to do this year. Vision Tees and Things was launched, the Vision Connection Party was canceled due to COVID, which was way out of my control, and writing consistently in my blog became almost impossible, so I thought. I started to beat myself up a little when I realized I pressed only one out of three of my goals, but then, I was reminded, the year is not over yet. I still have time to do what I set out to do. All I needed to do was focus and put my time management skills I learned to good use. I have still had orders coming in to be filled, I’ve been looking at ways to have a Virtual Vision Connection Party, and I have been brainstorming ideas for posts for the rest of this year and even next year. I’m on the move!

My encouragement to you today is, with a little less than two months left in this year, just do it. Why wait until January 1st to make a resolution? Most of the time, we make these resolutions, have great momentum month one and head back to our old habits by month two. Some of us don’t even make it week one. Why not start again now? Why not go back to the goal from the beginning of this year? Whether it’s writing the book, launching the business, learning something new, starting the process to buy a house, just start. This time start with intentions to finish strong. Start with intentions to stay focused and keep your momentum. COVID may have stopped the world from moving a little, but we can’t let it take our dreams and goals. I will not be one to allow my goals and dreams to be placed on the backburner again. It’s never too late to begin. Just do it! You got this!

Write the vision, make it plain

Last week, I decided to write out some personal, business, and home goals for my children and myself. I asked my youngest to bring the sheets of paper I wrote them down on to the car one morning. He dropped the home goals in the hallway. The next night, while the kids were getting ready for bed, my daughter comes in my room with tears in her eyes. The conversation goes as follows:

Mya: Mama, I read your goals. I’m so happy and sad.

Me: Why are you sad?

Mya: I don’t know. It’s just..Mama you believe in this for us?

Me: Yes I do.

Mya: I believe too Mama and I don’t care what anybody else thinks. It’s about what you and we believe.

I have heard many teachings about Vision in my lifetime, but never fully understood it until I had to have vision for my own household. When I was in a committed relationship, my mindset was the man has the vision for the house. Once the man who I sought after for vision from was no longer around, I had to learn how to seek vision, goals, and dreams, not only for myself, but for my children as well. Through the conversation with my daughter, I was reminded of the part of the scripture that says, “Make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it”. Why did I never think about my children being the ones to read it and run? Then, I rebuked myself. Ebony, you never let them read it. You never told them what God said. You never told them what your plans were for this house. You just expected them to believe in something they had never read or even heard about. I expected them to believe in me just because I was their mother and head of the household.  Then, I had to think about it. If I had a husband, would I just believe in him for those same reasons without knowing where we’re going? I believe knowing this shows me what my assignment is in the plan; I’ll know what to pray for,  what to seek God for in regards to our household, where to provide strength. This goes the same in your church. I love how my Pastor is very open with us as a congregation about where God wants to take us as a body of believers. He works diligently and seeks from God Himself on making specific moves for the church. He, also, gets direction from God on specific assignments as well. The leadership team has those assignments. Those specific leaders have a team who not only believe in the vision of the set ministry, but the church as a whole. We are all runners. We all have an assignment in different aspects of our lives. It’s on us to hear and read the vision set and get on our jobs to do what’s necessary for it to come to pass. Individually, we have vision. My Pastor says all the time, “We are not supposed to write it, read it, and run.” You’ll risk getting burned out on what your assignment is. It’s on us to write it out and make it plain. Then, God shows who is supposed to read it and run with what He said. Don’t be shocked by who He sends because God can use ANYBODY, even children. So, just write it out. The believers in it will come. Be Blessed.

The Vision Blogger is Still Alive

At the beginning of this year, I had my mind set on pushing my blog, having the Vision Connection Party, and starting my business. One out of three is good! Before the surge with COVID-19, I invested in myself by purchasing two of the items needed to start my business, Vision Tees and Things. I learned so much through YouTube, craft groups on social media, and craft friends, it became hard to focus on one specific thing in regards to everything I wanted to accomplish through my business. I was having my syndrome again. My initial goal was to cut out the middleman and produce my own designs and logos on different products geared towards my blog, but as I started to learn more and do more, my business took a turn for the better. I started to do more than just printing t-shirts. I started to print on mugs, make keychains, customize wine glasses, and so much more. I can honestly say I probably would not have been able to accomplish and master all of these things if I was not forced to stay home with my children when the schools closed back in March. I used our downtime to create, fill orders, learn, and grow.

So, here are a few things I have learned in year 2020:

Don’t Forget Your Ultimate Goal: Your Reason Why

Recently, I sat down and wrote out personal, home, and business goals for my children and myself. In addition to these goals, I wrote how they will be accomplished. Doing this helped me to understand what my ultimate goal was for absolutely everything concerning my life. What am I working towards? What am I looking to accomplish by doing this? What do I want to see come out of this? I believe, wholeheartedly, knowing this will keep me consistent and focused.  I wrote out these goals so I can see daily what I am working towards. Whenever I need a little motivation, I can revert to what I wrote. It’s just like a vision board without the pictures. I remember when I first started blogging. It was ultimately to give people a glimpse of my life through my testimony while motivating through vision. Motivating through vision is my ultimate goal. It wasn’t going to only follow through with the blog or speaking engagements. Now I’ve created a platform where tangible items can be created to showcase that same vision whether it’s through wearing your brand on your chest, drinking out of a mug with your logo plastered all over it, or carrying a bag with a motivational message to keep you moving forward. Knowing and understanding this ultimate goal, for me, keeps me diligent and pushes me to stay the course no matter what.

Time Management

Lord have Mercy! I believe this one was the hardest lesson for me to learn, especially after I went back to work. It’s safe to say I am still a work in progress on this one. Now, if you know me personally, you would agree I can sometimes be a little bit of a procrastinator. Sometimes I can feel I have all the time in the world and wait until the very last minute to get something done. Being a business owner, working a full-time job, maintaining a household with children, all while attempting to have a social life Post-COVID, I was forced to manage my time. I write out a weekly schedule, plan my daily duties, make a to-do list and prioritize by level of importance. Doing this can help me physically see what needs to be done and what needs to be moved around. Through time management, I learned it’s okay to take a break. It is needed. At times, it can become overwhelming having so many responsibilities so it’s quite all right to take a step back and breathe. You never want to get to a place where you are forced to sit down and do absolutely nothing. So, manage the time you have, take care of what’s needed in that moment, and take a pause if you need to, but don’t ever stop going.

Trust God with EVERYTHING

Have you ever gotten to a point in life where your only option is to trust HIM? I have; more times than I could ever imagine. Trusting God goes so much more beyond words though. You can say with your mouth, “I trust Him”, but if you don’t believe God can do whatever you’re asking Him to do for you specifically, it means nothing. There were many times I looked at a situation I was going through and felt I sometimes deserved to stay stuck in what I was in, but I messed around and started believing what I had seen God do for others, He can do for me too and what He has done in my life before, He can do it again and again and again. When I started to live knowing that God can do the unimaginable, the possibilities became endless. I made up in my mind, with everything in me; I would never walk around this earth feeling defeated because I have God. I will trust Him when things are looking good and, most definitely, when life appears bad. One of my favorite sayings is, “Things could always be worse.” Many times, we look at our situation that looks unfixable or unchangeable and forget what we’ve seen before, what we’ve come out of previously. I don’t believe God just takes us through for fun. Everything serves a purpose. So since He’s all-knowing, why not trust Him? What do you have to lose?

Now, we all know this year has been CRAZY and I’ve heard a lot of people say, “I’m ready for this year to be over.” “This year sucks.” I’m not going to lie, I found myself agreeing with them for a moment until I started to look at EVERYTHING I gained and lost. To tell you the truth, this year has been life changing. I don’t regret one thing I’ve done nor do I wish anything would’ve happened differently. I believe everything that has happened was designed to happen to me and for me. I titled this post “The Vision Blogger is Still Alive” because somewhere along this journey of 2020 I neglected my reason why. Writing out my goals the other day awakened something in me I thought I lost and one thing is for sure, I don’t ever want to feel like I lost my passion, my zeal, or my tenacity to walk in my purpose and do what I was created to do. Ever. So, my reason why is springing forth. My Vision is still alive.

I’m Pursuing Purpose

I started blogging in March of 2015. You can read about my start in my first blog post here. Before I became “The Vision Blogger”, I was the “Woman on Purpose, Pregnant with Destiny”. At that time, my family and I took a great loss the month before and I truly had no sense of direction. I knew I was here on earth for a purpose, but I truly didn’t know what it was. When I started having the idea of planning Vision Board parties and was given the new assignment of pushing Vision, it became my focus, my target. You swear my life became “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse”. Vision is my word-of-the-day every day. So, I felt I have my target. I have my focus. Now what?

I’m an “Idea Chick”, which means I have tons of ideas, things I want to do in life, but at times I feel like I have no follow-through. It’s not because I don’t want to do these things or work hard towards completing them, it’s just I have a lot on my plate, so things tend to take a backseat at times to what is most important in that moment. I’ll have an idea all day long, while I’m at work, driving, talking to someone, but I’ll write it down and never go back to it.

On Saturday, I started a “5-Week Course to Pursuing Your Purpose” hosted by Evangelist Tina Armstrong, who I’ve worked with on several events you can read about here. The course came with a workbook with tons of activities and great reads about things we go through in regards to doing what we are supposed to be doing in life. Through the first session, I found out I have “Shiny Object Syndrome”. “Think of a small child who’s happily playing with a toy—until their eye catches something shiny and new in the corner. What happens? In all likelihood, they promptly abandon whatever they were just playing with in order to go over and grab that irresistible shiny object.” In my case, I found out it wasn’t so much of being distracted by only something shiny and new, but also, what was easier for me to handle. I started writing a book a few years ago and stopped because I got stuck. So, here comes planning Vision Board parties. I started planning a “Mother-Daughter Tea Party”, which turned into me planning something else, but I talked myself out of it thinking, “well, everybody does that.” “Who would even come?” Then, here comes becoming the Ministry leader of the Singles’ Ministry at my church, where I have a strong core team, which made it easier for me to deal with saying yes. So, yes, I love getting ideas and having dreams to do this and that, but I’ll put the idea or the dream down if something else is presented that is easier for me to follow-through on.

After knowing about my syndrome setback, there is now “The Failure to Launch”, which goes back to my way of the thinking while I was planning the tea party. It’s truly never giving the idea or dream a chance to be the BIG thing you know it can be once it’s placed on the inside of you. Now I have to be honest with myself. I had the fear of failing. I had the fear of things not going the way I planned it. I had the fear of no one showing up. I had the fear of no one supporting or understanding the Vision. But I was advised through my workbook, “If you never launch, you can never fail. But by not launching you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to succeed. Moreover, you’re not giving yourself the chance to learn. To learn what it’s like to launch.” This is me. Often times, I’ll talk myself out of doing many things for what can seem like foolish reasons when all I needed to do was take the next step. Complete the one thing, then move to the next thing. It’s AMAZING how almost everything spoken about in our first session was confirmed by my Pastor through his message on Sunday titled “I Thank God That The Promises Are Still Yes” from II Corinthians 1:20. You can listen to the recorded broadcast here.

Through this session, I identified behaviors I need to drop because it’s hindering my pursuit purpose. Number one is being fearful of it not working the way I want it. Number two is procrastination. Number three is not using my time wisely. I am dropping these behaviors because my life depends on it to keep moving forward towards my Vision coming to pass. I’m going to replace the behaviors I’m dropping with using my time more wisely by fully utilizing my many planners, working harder towards the ultimate goal of the task I am working on and believing in myself more that what needs to be done will be completed.

As you can see, this one session was FULL of important information to push me further and further towards pursuing purpose and I can honestly say, I don’t want to miss any of the other sessions. I believe this course is truly purposeful. You will not walk out of the building without some type of motivation and inspiration to build your tenacity to PUSH towards what God has put on the inside of you for the world to see. Remember, someone is waiting on you.

You can find Lady Tina Armstrong on Facebook and Instagram. She also has planners and other life-changing workbooks along with a host of events that Push Purpose.

BROKEN PIECES IN LOVE

Over two years ago, I was involved in a car accident. It was said that an accident happened behind me and pushed into my car. The third car spun in the air and landed to the right of me facing the other direction and I don’t even know how the car ended up on the left of me, but I was surrounded by damaged vehicles on every side except in the front. My vehicle was the only one able to be driven off the freeway, being that I only suffered damage from behind. Pieces from one of the cars sat on my bumper on the way to get the kids, on the ride home, and even on my way to work the next day, tucked over to the right side. I didn’t notice the pile of glass and screws until I was headed to lunch, while examining the damages in detail before driving off. I decided to get a piece of paper from my car and remove the pieces to the ground so I wouldn’t cut my hand, but I needed to move them out of the way in case I caused any damage to my tire trying to drive away from that spot. As I moved the pieces, I had to sweep them even further as to not damage any other person’s tires. Those broken pieces of glass lead me to believe this is how we do some of our relationships. You can either be the broken pieces sitting on someone’s bumper or you can be the holder of the broken pieces. Either way, both can be uncomfortable.

Be careful causing other’s to bleed from pieces of glass they didn’t break.

My children’s father and I were together for 6 1/2 years before he passed, which left me full of grief, bitterness, and anger. Now, at that time, I wasn’t honest with myself about those particular feelings, but one feeling I was most clear about was loneliness, which was normal after having someone laying next to you everyday for 6 years and suddenly you are alone. I was VERY reluctant on getting in another relationship after experiencing those emotions all at once. I, truly, didn’t want to believe, as a mother of three very small children at the time, I would even be liked let alone loved unconditionally by a man anyway. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve seen many single mothers and fathers get into happy and long relationships after a heartbreak, but that way of thinking I had was a reflection of how I felt about myself. I didn’t have nearly the level of confidence I have in myself now compared to then.

Now, I have only had one or two serious relationships since my ex’s passing. The one thing I tried my best to consider in those relationships were not allowing that particular person to pay for the emotions brought on by someone previously. Just like the pile on my bumper, I didn’t want someone to have to hold on to my broken pieces trying to love me. I knew my heart wanted to love again, but I was afraid. I was afraid of wasting my time. I was afraid of being lied to again. I was afraid of even getting my hopes to be let down. All of those fears led me to not actually be serious about a relationship. I was just meeting guys to talk on the phone to sort of fill the void of companionship. Not saying I don’t have those fears still at times, but I’m learning when you allow God to truly guard and guide your heart, you can’t go wrong. There are situations we put ourselves in for whatever reason that may be, but I’ve found God will allow those situations to teach us lessons and show us what He might have been trying to protect us from.

Be careful trying to love people whole. You may end up losing some of your pieces.

With me trying not to have my broken pieces held, I’ve found myself being the holder of others’. One particular man I was with was deeply hurt in his previous relationship with his children’s mother. I found myself losing my marbles trying to understand why he tended to kind of shut down when things were going in a good direction. Through many conversations, I learned the hurt he experienced caused him not to be able to fully expect good in a relationship. He just wanted to “ride the waves” and I felt like I made more waves with my irrational behavior caused by me not fully understanding what I tried my best not to do in a relationship. I thought me being there and continuing to love him through everything would make it all better, but I had to learn the hard way it would never be possible. While he tried to protect me from his broken pieces, I found myself trying to piece them back together, so to speak, while literally cutting my hands in the process.

Studying the meaning of these pieces left on my car allowed me to take a step back and realize the parts I’ve played in my own heartbreak and even good relationships I messed up with my own hands. First, I had to forgive myself for those parts and trust the process of becoming whole. I knew I could never have a successful relationship if I didn’t deal with things internally within myself. I knew I wouldn’t be able to be receptive to the type of love and companionship I desired. I would just continue to cut others with my broken pieces and even ones I’ve picked up from other’s damages. Second, I had to learn how to effectively love myself. I can almost bet there are millions around the world who look in the mirror daily and find something they don’t like about themselves. I believe when you effectively love yourself, you love the good and the bad because both ultimately make up who you are. If you don’t love you, how can you expect someone else to love you? The good and the bad. We can try because I most certainly have, but the foundation of love starts in you. Love you the way you desire someone to give you love, maybe even more. Be Blessed.

Understanding My Father’s Love & Vision

Hello Family! I have not written a post in a little while, but I can definitely tell you I have been working on soooooo many things involving my VISION for “The Vision Blogger” Companies so be on the lookout. BIG THINGS ARE HAPPENING!!! (My team tells me I need to focus on one thing, but I can’t. LOL.)

At the end of August, my daughter, Mya, and I went to support one of my church sisters, Rhoshonda Adkison’s, event “Breakfast with Daddy’s Girl”. The event was located at Hanz’s Diner in North Houston where in the provided area, the women and young girls sat on the outside of the tables, while men sat in the middle. Each man represented that day was the “Dad” for about three or four ladies or young girls and became responsible for them for the time given. After our informal meet and greet, we all wrote out the letters to spell father on the sheet of paper given and were asked to describe what a father is using each letter. As we formulated our list, Mya started to remember her dad and came up with words with that glee and smile in her eyes I hadn’t seen in a long while. Most of the words did not start with the letters provided, but it was amazing to hear her just describe him. That moment caused me to step back and truly think about my father and how our relationship and his passing affected me.

Mya was SPOILED with a capital “S”. Now the word “spoiled” is often used as a derogatory term, but in my eyes, if a child or teenager was spoiled, they often got mostly everything they wanted and were not punished for things you might have received a punishment for. As a child, growing up, I confused being spoiled with being more loved. One day, I actually told my dad I felt he loved my sisters more than me because they were always getting what they wanted from him. His words to me were, “You have the same opportunities to get what you want and need from me, but you don’t ask.” He was right. In my mind, at the time I felt like it was wrong of me to always go and ask my dad for anything when my little sister was always going to him already for everything. I also felt like I didn’t call him enough or spent enough time with him to ask him for things I wanted or needed. I just never wanted my dad to feel like I only called him for those reasons. Looking back on this now, I am the same way with God. I know He is absolutely everything and He can do what I can’t, but I never want it to seem like I only talk to Him when I need Him. After the conversation with my dad, I realized it was my fault I felt the way I did. Point blank, I never in no shape, form, or fashion, felt unloved by my father, but as a young girl, I never knew how and what it meant for a father to show real love without having gifts and things I desired. As a teenager, as I grasped the concept of what a father’s love should consist of, I realized I looked forward to meals with my dad, going to church with him, and laughing with him until my stomach hurt more than having the materialistic things.  Thankfully, I learned this early on where that perception of love would not boil over into my relationships as an adult. I was proud to say that my daughter experienced love from her father different than how I felt as a young girl. Her father wasn’t fully in a position to give her everything she wanted. Honestly at three years old, she really didn’t ask for much of anything. She knew her father loved her by the time spent with her, the hugs and kisses he gave, and the compliments of how beautiful she is. That’s the love she experienced in only three years that she still thinks about almost five years later.

Losing my father at 22 was TOUGH for two reasons. One, I had just left my home church a year before and he had become my pastor and baptized me. As my pastor, our relationship grew stronger than I could’ve ever imagined. I saw my father in a different light and didn’t want that light to dim from my life. The second reason was, two months to the day of his passing, I had just given birth to my first child, Elijah. I remember the day I had him. The look in his eyes was unexplainable. He kept coming in the recovery room with me and going right back out to check on my son. The next day, he came back to the hospital and just held him for hours. My sister told me he preached about Elijah from the Bible for three weeks straight. When we came back to church, after service was over, he prayed and said, “Bring me my grandson.” You could see the joy in his eyes and hear it in his smile when he called. It pained me to come to grips with him not being able to see him and the other grandchildren grow up. Even now, it hurts sometimes to think about how he never got a chance to meet all the other grandkids who have been born since his passing. 

The final activity of the event was writing a letter to our fathers. I truly thought the activity was going to be an emotional one for myself and Mya but it was actually relieving. In Mya’s letter, she wrote about everything she missed about him being here on earth with her. As we finished, I started to ask myself, “What do you want to say that you never got a chance to say?” One thing was how much I loved and appreciated him as my father and at that time, as my Pastor. My father would move the moon and stars for his wife, his girls, his family, his friends and God’s people. He was a true servant. It was a blessing to see him sick, well, happy, or sad serve. That’s why when I saw the flyer where my father’s church, True Praise Missionary Baptist Church, under Pastor Earnest Helaire, Jr., was having their opening service for the new building, I couldn’t and wouldn’t have missed it. My father’s VISION had come to pass. I didn’t know everything True Praise had to go through to get the building but I knew there were obstacles. Before and even during the opening service, they continued to face opposition when the air conditioner went out. That didn’t stop them from giving God praise and honor for what He had done for them as a church. First Lady Sha Helaire and other members served the members and guests ice water because of the heat. I just believed just as she served in that moment, it was a direct representation of True Praise and what they had to endure as they waited for the vision to come to pass. They continued to serve. They didn’t quit. They didn’t allow road blocks to hinder the process of moving forward.Passing by my grandparents’ house, I had seen the pieces for the building many times, but to see all the pieces together to create the beautiful edifice was encouraging. My vision is written ALL OVER on many sheets of paper in my journal, sticky notes on my desk, and even notes in my phone, in pieces. My pieces can and will come to pass just like my father’s vision did. “And the Lord answered me, and said, write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.” My father wrote the vision and made it plain. His church, now under the leadership of Pastor Helaire, continued on even in the midst of the heartbreak of losing their child, brother, friend, and pastor. They are running with what was written.

Every single person in this world has had their own experience with love from their birth fathers whether it was existent or non-existent. Some people don’t or didn’t have the luxury of even having their father in their lives at all or only in bits and pieces of it. What I have always found throughout my life and even through others’ testimonies, whatever you may have felt about your father, whether he was there or not, God is the only one who can fill any void you may have from not having your father around or not receiving what you needed from him. I love the idea of the “Daddy’s Girls” Ministry because Rhoshonda brings teenage girls together, which I believe the teen years are a pivotal stage in life, to minister to them about the love of Christ and building an unimaginable bond with Him. As great as my biological father was to me and as much love I am surrounded by from my family and friends, I could never live without the love of God and wouldn’t be able to understand life at times without having that relationship with Him.  

With this post, I honor my father, Pastor Jim Miles, Jr. and True Praise Missionary Baptist Church. I love you guys tremendously. Keep up the good work. Be Blessed.

MY TESTIMONY-GOD HAS DONE IT AGAIN

First, I have to say, God is absolutely AMAZING & FAITHFUL. He does just what He says He’ll do. He’s never short in His promises. When I declared “Today is going to be a GREAT day” on yesterday, I never fathomed what God was going to do for me. I’m still in amazement and in awe of who He is in my life. I love God! He is EVERYTHING to me and I am FOREVER His servant. Not for what He does only but for who HE is.

Second, God has revealed soooo much to me about myself in the last four years, I’ll never be able to fully explain it. I learned who I truly was in Him and He strategically placed many people in my life to keep me going and growing in Him and through my VISION. So, it was somewhat hard for me to leave my last job at the Tax Office because I knew I was comfortable. I was also working towards being a Lead Clerk, but there, you had to really be in good with the right people to be promoted.

I left there and went to work with my mom in the Justice Courts, where I had volunteered periodically since high school. Little did I know, 3 months after starting the job, my children’s father would pass leaving me heartbroken and somewhat confused about what God was actually doing in my life. At the same time I felt relieved. My children’s father was my entire life. I loved him with everything in me, but losing him drew me even more closer to God. Also, at the new job I was able to take the time I needed to truly heal and grieve at my leisure. I wouldn’t have been able to do that at the Tax Office.

As time went on, I began to learn almost every aspect of the Courts. I worked hard with truly no intention of ever being promoted maybe for years to come. I knew I would be qualified because of what I knew and my work ethics, but set my mind and heart to believe I wouldn’t be able to be promoted. Not only because the current Supervisors didn’t plan on retiring for years, but because people would believe my mother, who is the chief clerk, would only give me the position because I was her daughter, not because I knew the job and worked hard at it.

In the previous school year, Edwin, Jr. starts kindergarten and begins having issues EVERYDAY. He is later diagnosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Behavior. You can read more about that process in the following link: https://thevisionblogger.com/2019/02/07/yesterday-was-tough/ During the school year, I had a bit of relief because there were people in place at his school to help redirect him if need be, being that the medicine only did so much.

The summer didn’t start off so great. He was getting ready to be removed from the summer program. Just days ago, we started a new medication along with what he’s already taking. It looks like things are much better for now and I believe God is working on that as well. I’m grateful and relieved because in two weeks I will be starting a new position as the new “Traffic Department Supervisor” in another Justice of the Peace Court.

I was interviewed along with others for the position and found myself just happy to even be considered for the opportunity to have an interview. I started the process with the mindset, “God, if it’s for me, it’s for me. If it’s not, it’s not and I’m okay with that.” But God knew what I wanted and He knew exactly what I needed to provide fully for myself and my children. Even after having what was intended for my children be stolen by someone who was connected to their father, God has replaced that and more.

Things I’ve learned through this process:

  • I will never underestimate what God can and will do for me. He has a Will and it’s all I want.
  • I will never underestimate myself or count myself out and make myself believe outside of what God has promised. He is faithful and if He promised it, I dare not allow the enemy or even myself to make me believe His promise won’t be manifested.
  • I will never apologize for what God has placed on the inside of me to fulfill work in the Kingdom and the World. I love me and the way God has made and molded me. I am yet and still on the potter’s wheel and will never be unreachable or unteachable.

I am a witness. God never puts more on you than you can bear. If He allows you to go through it, He’s equipped you with what you need to stand any test or trial. I am ELATED to learn what’s next to come in this journey of life. This short story had to be told to help someone understand and witness through me that God is strategic in everything he does. He has a plan. Don’t be distracted by the pain and short detours. Don’t allow them to make you miss the moment God is using to show you what He wants to do in your life. You may not even understand it all, but find solitude in the fact that He understands it all. He has a plan and purpose. He’s GOD! My prayer DAILY is for someone to be blessed in what God has taken me through, favored me with, and endowed me to do with my hands. Check out my previous post as well with my top 13 Motivational Quotes for moving forward here: https://thevisionblogger.com/2019/06/20/motivational-quotes-for-moving-forward/

Be Blessed.

13 MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES FOR MOVING FORWARD

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”  ~ Steve Maraboli

Hezekiah Walker -Moving Forward

Life happens! It doesn’t just happen to you, but it happens to us all. There have been many times in my life where I have felt just stuck. I felt I could never move on from what I was dealing with. You can almost say there were times I felt bound by things that just happened in my life.

There are so many things that go on and wrong in our lives that may cause us to become stagnant or leave us wondering or believing we have to stay stuck in the positions we are in. One thing I know for sure, despite how stuck we may feel, the Earth continues to orbit the sun, meaning Life goes on. Life continuously moves. We must move with it.

I have found some motivational quotes for moving forward. Feel free to save them, make them screensavers, do whatsoever you desire to remind you to keep moving forward and never let life halt you. Life will happen, things will happen, but I find solitude in knowing God knows about it all. Enjoy.

  • The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.
  • Sometimes the best way to measure distance is not to look back and see how far we’ve gone, but to look ahead and see how close we are.
  • Don’t hold yourself down with the changes you can’t control.
  • Every exit is an entry somewhere else.
  • Sometimes God closes doors because it’s time to move forward. He knows you won’t move unless your circumstances Force you. Trust the transition. God’s Got You.
  • Failure keeps you humble, success keeps you glowing, but only faith and determination keeps you going.
  • You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
  • The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward. ~Steve Maraboli
  • As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better.
  • Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.
  • Faith is moving forward even when things don’t make sense, trusting that in hindsight everything will become clear. ~Mandy Hale
  • If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward. ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • Strive to move forward with Purpose in mind.

I pray you enjoy one or more of these motivational quotes.

What are your favorite quotes for moving forward in life?