All posts by Ebony D. Miles

Hi. My name is Ebony. I live in Houston, Texas where I am a full-time county employee and mother of three. My oldest "PRINCE" is eight years old, "THE DIVA" is seven years old, and "THE RULER" is five years old. I love life and adore my children. I'm a very active member of Greater New Hope Church, a.k.a. "The Praisedome". My hobbies are reading, writing, singing, and working.


On Saturday, I went to Walmart, which is one of my all-time favorite stores, in search of four t-shirts with a superhero on it. Needless to say, as usual, I ended up coming out of the store with more than what I went in for. One of those items was a Crockpot, a.k.a. “Slow-cookpatience3er”. Lately, I have tried to become a lot more open to things that I wouldn’t normally try out of fear. You’ll have to stick around for the blog about my fears to understand why. Since I bought it, on sale I might add, I have searched for different recipes to try. Today, I cooked barbeque ribs. The recipe called for the ribs to cook on low for 8-10 hours or on high for 4-6 hours. Of course, I put it on high because I was home sick and didn’t need it to take all day to cook. Being that I knew the time frame it was going to take, it didn’t stop me from checking it, which felt like, to me, every five minutes. When I’m cooking, I’m used to a certain aroma filling the house. While these ribs were in process, I wasn’t smelling that sweet fragrance of the honey barbecue sauce I put on top. Because I knew that the ribs were going to take a long time, I cooked something else in the oven, at the same time I put the ribs on, that I knew would only take an hour to cook, just in case the kids or I became hungry before the ribs were ready. This process helped me today because a lot of times, I find myself doing this in my life.

I am not ashamed to say that I am apart of the “microwave era” or “microwave generation”. We want everything done right away, sometimes without having to wait or work hard for it. And, I can speak for myself, I will try to find something to “help me out while I wait”, which sometimes just becomes a temporary fix and, most of the time, unfulfilling. Where I see this analogy most, is in relationships. I don’t have a long list of qualities that I believe my ideal guy would have, but I do have a list. At times, I will bypass some things that I am not all the way comfortable with for the fact of me not wanting to be alone or, even, passing up who might really be for me. It doesn’t have to only be in dating, but in friendships as well. Another example would be in choosing where to live. My children’s father and I moved in with my mom when our youngest son was born in May of 2013. We tried everything in our power to move out because we knew we needed our own. We took all kinds of risks where it left us broke and, even, got us caught up in a scam. We were willing to make whatever sacrifice needed in order to move out of my mother’s house, even if we could not afford it. We didn’t even have to like the area or the appearance. It was just a place to stay.patience1

I know from my own life’s lessons, you have to be very careful and specific in what you ask God for.  From experience, I have come to the conclusion that if I ask God to help me with my patience, I’m going to end up learning how to wait for something that I so deeply desire. Now, I am learning to wait on God myself. What I do ask for is His guidance and direction, so I won’t be lead astray. God knows my heart and my desires. He knows what I want, and He’s the only one who knows what I need. I’m learning more and more daily to totally depend and trust in Him and His plans for me. My next question would be, what do I do while I wait? I praise and thank Him for what I already have. Be blessed.

About Last Night…….

Happy October Everyone! It’s amazing how in just three months, 2015 will be over. As the year is coming to a close, I have no cdark roadhoice, but to reflect on the events that have happened this year and ways to have an AWESOME 2016. Last night was the first class of my church’s 30-week 3D Expository Class. The first lesson was about studying and how to do it properly and effectively. My pastor gave GREAT information in a very understanding way. So, my question, at the end of the class, was how do you choose what to study? Growing up, I was told that if you wake up in the middle of the night, God trying to talk to you. I’m not going to lie. I would start out praying and usually would fall asleep, not knowing what else to do or say. Because I did not want it to be to where I was falling asleep on God, I would try to read my BIBLE, but I never knew what to read. The Word Of God has so much information in it that I never knew where to start. It’s funny, now, but I used to say wherever I open that’s what God wants me to read for that day, but I still had no understanding of anything. My pastor told me, in studying, start with your weaknesses and go from there. And it makes all the sense in the world to start off finding what God says about areas that you are weak in.

Last night, I had a dream. Normally, I can’t remember the life-changing dreams ever to tell anybody. Thankfully, I started typing with it still fresh on my mind. In this dream, I, and someone else very close to me, was placed in an old house that was, literally, in the middle of nowhere and was told that we had to find our way back. Normally, in my mind, I would think that whoever placed us here would cover our faces to where we could not see the route, but I saw us being pushed to this old house. After getting our instructions, we tried to walk down the street, going back the same way we got there, and the further we got, the darker it became. We could not see anything but trees. I could not even see my hands and no longer see the house behind us. We stopped realizing that we were getting nowhere fast. By that time, FEAR starts to settle in. In my sleep, I started to feel uncomfortable and afraid, but the dream continued. I started to cry uncontrollably. I realize, now as I type this, that I didn’t scream not one time. The person I was with, screamed the entire time, calling on everyone else, but God. I start to recognize that we were not going to make it out of that place by doing the things that we were so accustomed to doing when feeling like there was no way out of a situation. I, finally, started to pray and asked God to guide us out of this place. Immediately, there was a white light that appeared at the d536d0f12c1f5c0b19e3d20d583f83cfend of the road. We walked toward it. In my sleep, I could feel this PEACE come over my body like no other. The crazy part is, it took not even a minute of walking to get back to where we started out at; where we were pushed. Letting me know, that if we would have just kept walking, instead of stopping, we would have made there. When we arrived, the person that placed us there said, “It took you a shorter time than most people.”

I know as time goes on, I am going to get so many different revelations of this dream. Right now, I’m still in amazement at the PEACE that I felt as I walked toward the LIGHT. It was the most amazing feeling. Having this dream right after going to a BIBLE class that, ultimately, changed my life perspective, made me think more about what my weaknesses are. Most people would, unhesitatingly, think about areas that you sin in on a day-to-day basis. But, for me, some of my weaknesses are: breaking down when I should be believing and trusting, being afraid to make mistakes, and allowing my emotions to take over decisions that I make. Needless to say, these are just a few things that I need to work on in my walk with God. But I feel as I walk closer and closer to and with the LIGHT of the World, I can’t lose. Be Blessed!

My Heart is Being Held Hostage


In life, as humans, we allow things that happen in our lives to hinder us from moving forward. I am guilty of doing this several times and not just in the past seven months, but most of my entire life. I have let fear, unhappiness, and anger cause me to become stagnant going absolutely no where. I let fear of being hurt or rejected cause me not to do something or go somewhere. I let unhappy situations or lifestyles hinder my growth as a person causing me to settle for what I did not deserve. I allowed anger to scrutinize every person I meet or come in contact with. I have come to the conclusion that I no longer want my past to hinder me from receiving what God has for me. I have learned, more now than ever, that if I am destined to have something or someone, be somebody, or go somewhere, it has to happen. The only person who can stop it is me.

In an activity with some of the ladies from my church, we had three strips of paper. On one strip, we wrote our God-given name. On the second, we wrote our nickname. On the last one, we wrote something that is important to us. As a mother, I was going to immediately say my children because they are my life. But, the woman giving the assignment stated that we could not put our children. So, I began to think about something immaterial that is important to me. My Heart. I love with so much power and might that I sometimes neglect myself, my well-being, and even my dignity. I have never regretted loving anyone with this type of love, no matter how much it hurt me in the end. In showing this type of love, my heart has been broken into several pieces many times to where I felt it could never be mended back together. Even in the mist of being in pieces, I would always allow love to be given and taken in. I have found that my heart is being held in an open glass. I’ve been holding it hostage, trying to protect it and I have found that The more and more I try, the more vulnerable I become.

I have to move forward from here. I deserve every piece of love my heart can hold. And it starts with me. I am going to love every part of me without limits. I am going to love myself with a vengeance, an unrecognizable, unexplainable force. I want this love for me to be so strong that it spills over into everything I do and who I come in contact with. I will love again and I’m going to love so hard that instead of my heart shattering, if it is ever hurt again, it will have just a missing piece. My love will be so strong that I can put it back.

My Children Are My World

My children are my world! They mean everything to mechildren1 and I wouldn’t know where I would be if I didn’t have them in my life. They are, truly, my blessings from God. Now, it took me a long time to realize why God made me a mother. When I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son, Elijah, I was scared and didn’t know what to expect. I felt the same way when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, Emiyah, when Elijah was just five months old. When I was pregnant with my youngest son, Edwin Jr., I was, literally, in denial for months because of these same exact feelings. My children’s father found out he had Congestive Heart Failure two weeks before I had Elijah. We made the decision, from there, that I would work, and he would stay home and take care of Elijah, then Emiyah, and then Edwin Jr. After all of my pregnancies, because I was the only one working, and I was on a temporary job status with the county, they held my job, until I was able to come back. I went back to work after being out four weeks with all of my children. This was a decision I made on my own, even though at times my children’s father would beg me to wait longer, but I knew what had to be done. During this time, I only had a short time to bond, fully, with my children. I worked long hours and after getting home so late, I was so tired. Over the years, I’ve tried to build a better bond with my children, even while working to provide. Especially, now, with their father not here, I feel I have had to love them deeper and more wisely.

Last week, Emiyah’s allergies started to make her sick. She kept a fever, continuously sneezed, and had very puffy, watery eyes. With her not feeling well, I tried to console her as best I knew how, but she would look me in my eyes and tell me, “I want my daddy.” Every time she said these words, it hurt a little more and more each time. I know that it wasn’t her fault, but it made me reevaluate my relationships with my children, especially her, being that I always wanted to have a special relationship with her like I had, and still have, with my mother. Her wanting her father made me think about how many times I took off work to take care of them or how many nights I stayed up to watch over them while they were sick. To tell you the truth, I could not think of many. Their father was there through it all, and not only because he had to be, but he really wanted to be.

Now, their father’s parenting skills were a lot different than mine. He believed in training his boys to be strong men, which often meant being a lot harder on them to get them to understand certain things. But, on the other hand, he treated his girls like princesses. He believed that if he did this, they would not allow just any man to come in their lives and treat them any less than what they deserve. I believe in treating all of my children the same. I know that it’s not achildren3lways possible, but I try my best to never allow myself to show favoritism towards my children. I grew up, and even still today, seeing almost every day the boys being treated like princes and the girls being placed behind, almost nonexistent. I promised myself, to eliminate me treating one better than the other, I would do the same for all. Now, don’t think that I am bashing their father’s parenting skills, but with now having to raise them alone, I’m looking for the best ways to teach them certain things. I believe, solely, in the statement, “it takes a village”, but everybody’s way may not be the right way or the way that works for your child. There are some children who require other reinforcements or care, so to speak.

This process is a learning process for me. I’ve learned so much in the past few months about myself and my children to last me a lifetime, but I know that there is still room to grow and learn. My biggest prayer in life, involving my children, is for them to grow in God and never limit themselves. And I, also, want them to always remember that their father loved them so much more than they could ever know. This world is so unpredictable and your life can change in a matter of seconds. I am thankful to have a second (or thousandth) chance at life as a mother and as a person. As I stated before, and I will always say, I’m following God with my children in tow.


Decisions, Decisions….


I can, honestly, say that I am not good at making my own decisions. Let me rephrase, I’m not good at making quick decisions. My mother gets after me all the time about making a decision quick, and sometimes, without having a second to think about the ending result. Now, hear me out. I like to weigh out all of my options. I like to think about how will it make me feel, how will it affect my children, how will it change my life, whether for the better or for the worse, and these are just a few questions I have when coming to a conclusion of what to do. I have to do this in order to help myself believe that I am making the right decision. Now, don’t get me wrong, there have been plenty of times where I didn’t think twice about a presented opportunity and just went ahead with what was in my heart or my head, whichever felt right at the time. Many of those times where I have made these quick, un-thought out decisions, I have had to deal with the repercussions from it. So, since I have had so many unwelcome outcomes, I tend to take a long time to decide, especially  it involves my well-being or that of my children. Hey, I’m human and I know that I’m not going to get it right every time, but I can at least get as close to it as possible.

Now, you may ask why am I so indecisive. It mostly started when I was younger. As a child, everything I said or did was analyzed. I may have had the intentions of meaning one thing, but it was, most of the time, taken out of context. Then, sometimes, I would try to make a decision based on instructions that were given to me, without having to call and verify what was told to me, and at the end of the day, I end up regretting agreeing to do the task at hand. These actions made me stop, when asked a question, to pause and think about what I was going to say and what the outcome was going to be after I answered this question. Then, my pause would cause an even bigger mess than what I could have ever imagined, where I would sometimes leave hurt and, moreover, confused.

I guess you can say, this indecisiveness has started to show as a small hindrance to my growth at times as a person,  and mostly as a mother making all the decisions for my family. I am not ashamed to say that sometimes I am afraid of the choices that I make, more so because of the outcome. But what I have learned in my 27 years of life, is that you can never be afraid to try. Like I said before, I’m not going to get it right every time, but i can get as close to it as possible.

Fire & Ice

Ice- Once touched, the sensation of it only last for a short period of time. If held too long, whatever touches it most of the time becomes numb or the ice will fade before.

Fire- When touched, the sensation is unforgettable. Most of the time it leaves a mark to remind you how it felt, but if you stay there too long, whatever touches it will either withers away or loses it’s value.

I came up with this conclusion after finding myself in a very awkward position in my close relationships. There seemed to be a pattern. Of course, being human, fire is always going to be more enticing because it’s exciting, you can become mesmerized by its beauty, and, moreover, it’s untouchable. You never really think twice about ice because it’s only there for that brief time, or what you just needed at the moment. Whether we want to admit it or not, as humans, we use other humans to get what we want or need. You can come up with your own many examples. Being newly single, I have had to cling more to God and what he wants me to do. I have found that depending on people to give you what you want or need, or what you think you want or need, can never be fully fulfilled because they are human just like you.

Redefining Ebony

Hello family. I will refer to anyone who reads my blogs as my family because only people who care about what you are doing in your life, are family. Again, thank you for taking time. Sorry it took me so long since my first post, but the month of March was a little, or maybe a lot, more tougher than I expected. There is one subject that I find myself discussing on a day to day basis is redefining myself. Some of the things that I am going to confess are very sensitive and in no way am I putting down anyone that I speak of in this blog. Every person was a very intricate part of my life.

When I was 7-years-old, myself, my mother, and younger siblings joined a church where I continued  worshiping there until I was 20-years-old. Circumstances came around when I was about 8 or 9-years-old where my mother was faced with a choice of staying at this church or leaving along with others.  God told my mother we were to continue being members. Being a child and not understanding fully of what was going on in the “world of grown-ups”, I had no choice but to follow. Over those 13 years, I found myself beaten, battered and bruised. This abuse was not physically, but emotionally. I worked from dusk to dawn to please my pastor, but in trying, I only hurt myself more. During this time, I was being told what I was supposed be and there was a certain way I was supposed to act, not even realizing what God actually wanted me to be, but because she was following God, there we were. Throughout these years, Ebony was my name, but I did not know who Ebony truly was. I was going day-to-day just existing, literally terrified. I never knew what was next. While trying to “make myself feel better”, I found myself looking for comfort through sex. This showed that I did not care about myself or my well-being. I just wanted to stop hurting.

In May of 2008, I met Jerod, the father of my children. At that time, he had just gotten out of a relationship and I was hurting as well, so, we started a really good friendship. My apartment, that I lived in alone, was burned down to where nothing was left. At this time, I felt this was a wake-up call to get myself together. Jerod and I became a couple that August and, then, I didn’t know how to be truly committed.  Jerod loved me just that much that he stayed with me and showed me how true love can heal hurts. Then, I became “Jerod/Ebony” because it was VERY rare that you saw one without the other. I tell everyone that Jerod had me spoiled. He, absolutely, did everything that he could to make me happy and in turn, I wanted to do the same. Now, with Jerod gone, I am having to redefine who I am. Not saying Jerod did not allow me to be my own person, but like I grew up, I found myself trying to please others more, even if it made me miserable.  I just wanted to make him happy.

So, on my purpose journey, I am learning Ebony.  I’m learning what I like and don’t like.  I’m learning how to make decisions without having to consider others feelings or worry about how anyone will react. Now, I am making decisions on what is best for me and my children. In making these decisions, I am following God with my children following me.  This is truly a process, but I believe anything in life that is on it’s way to greatness, has to go through a process. Until next time, Be blessed.

Hello World!

photo collage maker_iuobcw4758788919331373669..pngHello ALL!!! First off, let me thank you for even taking the time to grace my page with your presence. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. It’s means a lot. Second, I have always wanted to start a blog, but I just never knew how. So, please forgive me if I don’t know exactly what I am doing right off the back. My life changed drastically after the loss of the father of my three children. I bought a diary (actually two of them) to try and get some of my feelings out on the table. I have only wrote in it one time. I carry it around with me in my HUMONGOUS purse like I am going to get some kind of INSPIRATION to write in it. I follow a blog on my Facebook page from someone that I have known since I was a little girl. Her name is Janae Strickland. Her blog is called “Confessions From a Red Couch.” Reading her post from the other night inspired me to share my story, and my many more stories to come, on my journey called LIFE. I have a story to tell and I have a feeling that my story will help someone else, who may not be dealing with the same things that I deal with on a day-to-day basis, but maybe similar to it. I won’t flood this page daily and may not even be weekly, but at least bi-weekly or even monthly.

So, many would probably ask me, “Why are you a WOMAN on PURPOSE” or “How are you PREGNANT with DESTINY”. I’ll explain. Growing up, I would hear grown-ups say all the time they should have been dead a LONG time ago. I never understood that statement until I became a grown-up myself. I am no where near a perfect person, but I am striving to be all that GOD has called me to be. I have done some CRAZY things in my many years of life. Things have happen to me where I felt I was either going to lose my mind or even my life. So, I am here on PURPOSE. There is a reason why I am living, breathing, and raising three children. There is a reason. So, how can I be pregnant with DESTINY? Many people go through a full lifetime without knowing what they are actually supposed to do on this earth. Some may not believe, but everyone is born to do something. After the loss of my children’s father, I felt lost…..AT FIRST. Then God helped me to realize that everything happens for a reason and everything that HE does is for my GOOD. I am growing more and more each day as I am becoming more and more aware of where I am going. I don’t have the full purpose, YET, but I know that I have something on the inside of me that is being formed until it is ready to come out. This is DESTINY.

I ask that you join me on this ride. There will be some highs and some lows, but WE ALL ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS. I, also, will never turn down constructive criticism. I am here to help, when I can, and have an open floor.

Thank you for your time. I hope to see you again. BE BLESSED…..