Hello Family. Yesterday was tough. Many of you don’t know this, but I have been having issues with my youngest son, Edwin, in school. He has not been able to adjust as normal kids would from daycare to public school. I believe, since school started in August, I have received a call from the school, at least, every week about something he’s done, something he’s not doing, and more recently, things he has said. He is currently in the process of being tested for Special Education for his behavior through his school district and now they want me to have him tested for ADHD. Edwin had issues while in daycare, but he had an AMAZING teacher, who would see he was having a bad morning, pull him in, turn on some praise and worship music, and he’d ultimately pull it together. Now, with him being in public school, he has turned into a totally different person. I know, in public school, they have a lot more students and can’t tend to just one student out of respect for the other students’ learning, but it has gotten to the point where it has caused many distractions almost daily

My oldest son, Elijah started out at their school in Kindergarten and has been very popular since. So when his little sister and brother started there, the same support system I had for him are the same I have for my other children. Now, with the way Edwin has been performing, I have met a group of teachers I’ve never seen before in the previous years, Behaviorial Specialists. They teach Edwin how to control his emotions and give alternatives when you feel these different types of emotions instead of what he has been doing in the past. They are EXTREMELY patient with him and take time with him daily. As of late, there has been no progress. He has some good days, sporadically, but it will turn at the flip of a switch. These switches can flip from just about any little thing from him not being called on to answer a question to a student looking at him, at what he may feel, is the wrong time. He’ll throw things, kick walls, call people horrible names, and scream out very inappropriate words and phrases I have never heard him use, said around him, or let him listen to.

The minute the district started to talk about testing him for ADHD and Special Education, I was, right off the back, defensive and it was only because of what I had seen my mother go through with my brother, on television, and in my years of working in childcare. I never would’ve thought I would have to live with knowing my son could possibly be “labeled” as such. Please take into consideration that this is only what I was thinking at the time of them speaking about this and what my perspective of him having to deal with this was. Between having to go through this process the past 5 months with my son, having to deal with Medicaid switching over to CHIP where I now have to pay a copay every time he goes to the doctor because I make $67 over the limit to qualify for Medicaid, to them cancelling it and advising me the night before our appointment, to still trying to serve in ministry, to keeping a solid relationship with all of my children together and separately, and staying positive in my other relationship, yesterday, I had had enough. I walked out of my children’s school, into my car, and felt like I had, literally, lost my entire mind. I lost all control of EVERYTHING, almost every aspect of my life, at the same time, while trying to remember who’s, ultimately, in control of EVERYTHING.

“God, I’m not mad at you. I just don’t know what to do.”

This was all I could say in that moment because my reactions appeared as if I didn’t believe, but in the past going on 4 years, my FAITH has become a gift that could only come from God Himself. Truly, it took me losing someone most cherished to me for it to become stronger, but when he was removed, God showed me who was there the entire time and who would always be, HIM. God is all I have and I’m never going to give up on Him or forget He has given me a gift in my children and will never give up on them. No matter what I see or what obstacles may come my way, I WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE in HIM, on HIM, and HIS WORD. His Word says He’ll never put more on me than I can bear and I believe that with everything in me. If He gave it to me, He has, also, given me the tools to bear it. I ask for prayers through this time and any light you can shed on my son and this process is always appreciated. As always, BE BLESSED.

Happy New Year and welcome to 2019!!! I have a feeling this year is about to be BIG! Not just any feeling, but after the last few hours of 2018 and the first day of 2019, I know that I know that I know, this year is about to be BIG. I was invited to be apart of Evangelist Tina Armstrong’s 4th Annual Purpose Breakfast where the theme was “Restoring the Remnant: Can You Cover Me Until I Recover?” In my previous blog post, I gave you just a snippet of what happened when you get kingdom-minded women together to talk about the theme and prepare us and others for the upcoming breakfast, but I’ll tell you from my own personal experience, it exceeded any expectation I had settled in my mind.

As I walked in the building, I was warmly greeted by everyone in the room, along with the smell of heaven prepared by DJ’s Grill. I swiftly found my assigned seat with my name and gift neatly placed. I knew from the hugs and blessing with my name on it, I was already in for a treat. As I settled in my space to prepare to do as I was asked, Mrs. Armstrong, the SUPERWOMAN herself, gave me an assignment. She handed me a Ziploc bag containing smaller Ziploc bags with what I recognized as mustard seeds in them and said, “I need you to count these. Make sure I have 40 now.” When she handed me the bag, I was reminded of the first time I saw these seeds. I was a child and one of the ministers gave an example of the seeds in his bible study lesson. I was reminded in that very moment where my FAITH in God and what He was capable of began to grow. I was almost brought to tears because it’s funny how at many times in our lives we seem to lose focus over what’s going on or wrong and forget what God gave us to remind us we still have seed. Now back to these bags. In my mind, I’m thinking she wants me to make sure there’s enough for everybody to receive a bag and I immediately thought, “We’re going to need some more bags” just from looking at the outside. She asked me did it look like 40. I told her no after I counted them out one-by-one. She then says, “So you found you had more than what you thought you had right?” And she walks away. Now astonished, I saw other women walking into the building, each one of them had their own reaction to the assignment given. My fellow blogger, Ms. Victoria Fisher, walked in and only counted 39. The entire room was looking just as stunned as I was knowing without a shadow of a doubt we all counted 40. It was found that one of the attendees heard in her instructions to take one after counting them. I found that maybe, just maybe, she pulled exactly what she needed. All she needed was just a little to make it. We’ll talk about those seeds a little more later though.

After being served an AMAZING breakfast provided by DJ’s Grill, full of chicken and waffles, eggs, seasoned potatoes, and shrimp with grits, which might I add, was the first time I tried them and it was sooo good, we had our first speaker, Evangelist Shandra Powell. This Woman of God walked into the room and stood in boldness as the song “This Is My Season” by William Murphy played, while holding what appeared to be a handkerchief in her hand. She prayed in that same boldness and, in the same breath, spoke into every person’s next season. One of the statements she stated as she encouraged the room, was, “Because I survived, I still have purpose”. That is what this handkerchief symbolized to me. The handkerchief was made of stitched together leftover patterns, or “fabric remnants”. The key things about these “fabric remnants”, is that they were once apart of a whole piece, then cut or torn away. We all have been cut up, battered, and bruised a time or two or a million times in our lives but it doesn’t mean we don’t have purpose or a reason we are placed and kept here on this Earth. We, the “fabric remnants”, those who have been torn apart, or “set apart”, have been broken, put back together time and time again to be connected to another someone to help them. As stated by Evangelist Powell, “with recovery, comes responsibility”, which is to go and strengthen the next person. She shared her own personal experience in discussing needing covering herself and having to pour into God’s people at the same time, along with being ever so “careful not to bleed on the people God sent to you to help”. Another account Lady Powell gives is we can’t be “so alive in duty, you don’t realize you’re dying”. What that meant to me was that we can’t be so busy trying to keep ourselves moving about and not realize we have an open wound that can infect us and possibly infect others. For that reason, we all seem to “camouflage our pain”, but God has people in place who are qualified to cover you as you recover. They are watchful, alert, and in Spirit, will see you where you are and cover as God sees fit.

Next in this move, we had a “Scarf Exchange”. Everyone in attendance was asked to bring a scarf. We all grabbed our scarves and stood in a circle. Now, all in attendance for some reason or another did not have a scarf, but there were women there who gave up theirs for another sister to participate. This was a clear demonstration of the covering, to me. No one was left out. As we stood in a circle, our host, Evangelist Tina Armstrong, gave instructions to pass your scarf to the left or to the right. At the end, whoever had your initial scarf, we became accountability partners. The scarf became a direct symbolism of the covering of one another.

Our next speaker, who was introduced by our host, who stated she has been blessed to see her flourish, meaning “grow in unprofitable and uncomfortable conditions and circumstances”, was none other the “One and Only” Evangelist Special Scales. Lady Scales stood tall in frame and in the same manner, presented God’s Word. She stated for us to repeat, “I AM A MEPHIBOSETH.” Mephiboseth, who is mentioned a few times in II Samuel, was the son of Jonathan and grandson of Saul. He was a lame young boy who, after his father and grandfather died in battle, was being brought back to town by his nurse. His nurse stumbled and dropped him and caused him to become disabled. As she talked about this man who was dropped by someone who was supposed to be caring for him, she posed a question to the room. She asked how many of us had been dropped and left for dead? Being that “pain is universal”, everyone has at some point in their life felt some type of pain. The most interesting thing about life is, most of the time we endure pain from the least suspected person, family. To an enemy or someone who doesn’t like us or had an issue with how we do things, “we expect you to play your part as who you are.” You’re an enemy. We expect you to do what you are assigned, but when you were sent to cover me, take care of me, love me, and uphold me at my weakest moment, you inflict the deepest pain mostly because I don’t expect it from you, of all people. Lady Scales inspired us through her own testimony to not focus on what we lost in the midst of the pain caused because God can “use our broken pieces”. He can use what you have left and restore you in the process.

Our final speaker was non-other than the MAN with the MIC and MESSAGE, my pastor, Dr. Robert Bailey, Jr. He spoke on these mustard seeds we encountered when we first walked in. His scriptural basis for his message was Matthew 13:31 & 32. Jesus says, “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.” What amazed me most about this seed is though it’s very small, it grows into a tree. A TREE! I believe the tree is the biggest and tallest plant there is on this planet. Dr. Bailey said it best, “God will take the small of you to produce the big in you” and for this reason, he advises us to be careful where we plant. He spoke on the difference between a seed being planted in dirt and soil. Dirt is easy to obtain. To the seed, it only smothers it and doesn’t have the nutrients to grow it. On the other hand, you have soil. It has to be bought and it has the proper materials and minerals to help the seed break open. It actually fertilizes the seed and gives it exactly what it needs to produce what God wants to pull out of it. Another part of the scripture Dr. Bailey touched on was the birds. The birds represented people and he warned us to “watch who’s coming to perch”. Perch means, of a bird, to alight or rest on something. Some “birds” come to sit to snatch from your limbs to cause you to become barren or unfruitful, but you have others who come and plant a nest so they can give birth where you have planted. I did some research on these birds who build nest and found that not all birds who build a nest are there to give birth. Some birds build it, plant or lay the egg that possesses their seed, or promise for someone else to come and nurture, which brought me to believe this can be tied to one of my favorite scriptures. Habakkuk 2:2, says, “Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it”, meaning what if at some point I am giving birth to something, I nest it in a lively place (tree) to be picked up, when it is ready, and released to be ran with. My Pastor, then, asked us to go to the end of our planners gifted to us by Evangelist Armstrong and write down what we would like our 2019 to look like. Those of us who had been at Watch Service the night before had already done this and only by God, I took a picture of mine before I put it in the basket to be blessed. I wrote everything down from my paper and even added some things to it. Dr. Bailey had us to put our tiny bag of mustard seeds on the list and just pray over IT without saying exactly what IT is and do THIS for the rest of the year.

As I settled in my space, where the blessings with my name on it lay, I wrote at the top of my notepad, “*This Is For Me*” and that it was. Evangelist Tina Armstrong had no idea the impact it would have on me when she asked me to blog for this meeting. After Dr. Bailey prayed over our lists and mustard seeds, there was what I called, a “Covering Session”. Lady Armstrong was lead by God to choose a different woman in the room to cover another. It amazed me how God saw fit to choose me, even in the midst of having to deal with something before I made it to the place and I thought in that same breath, “why not me?” God has placed something on the inside of me, whether it be from my experience or the gifts He has placed in me to help COVER the next person as they recover. I walked away from this encounter with the tools to COVER and BE COVERED. I learned so much and pray through THIS you are blessed as well. Be Blessed.

What do you get when 15 kingdom-minded women come together? An Unexplainable Encounter, that’s what. I had the honor and privilege of being invited to be a part of this awesome panel of strong women, who have been through different and even similar things in life. Some went through on the forefront and some, even, suffered in silence, but I can just about fully believe, through the testimonies of each woman present, all of us found strength in our pain to strengthen and build others. This meeting was not only for the women who were gathered around this conference table, but for many other people, who watched online or through social media, who needed to visually see 15 women come together in “Collaboration, and Not Competition.”

The SUPERWOMAN, herself, Mrs. Tina Armstrong, founder of Purpose Ministries, took over the Simply H.E.R. Empowerment Connection Show through Nikki A. Keyser, to talk about her upcoming event taking place on New Year’s Day at 10:00 AM at DJ’s Grill in Houston, TX. (Tickets are $45.00. You don’t want to miss it. See flyer attached.) The theme for the breakfast is “Restoring the Remnant; Can You Cover Me Until I Recover?” The scripture for the theme is Revelations 3:2 and it says “Wake Up! Strengthen what remain and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God.” Whew! Just typing it still makes me want to leap. Mrs. Armstrong had no problem giving honor to the Woman of God, Ms. Sherell Polk a.k.a. Pastor P., who started the conversation with an experience of her own where she ended up having to go through something on her way to church. Many of us around this table could definitely testify to going through on our way to serve, even at some point thinking of turning around because it was just too much to serve wounded. She talked about how she felt and how she basically hid in the back of the church, but someone saw her through God to embrace her and minister to her heart and spirit to restore what was shattered on her way to service. That’s what the theme is all about, covering another who is going through. You don’t even have to know exactly what a person is dealing with, just pray, cover them, uphold them where they are weak, encourage them. Sometimes, all we need is to just KNOW someone is there covering.

My fellow blogger, Ms. Victoria Dominique brought a perspective that truly opened my eyes to understanding being covered by one another and not always trying to fix ourselves. She described how many times, when we are sick, we self-medicate ourselves with over-the counter drugs and use home remedies to “heal” ourselves, instead of going to a doctor, who has been through schooling or has had experience in what you’re dealing with, and can, ultimately prescribe exactly what you need to get rid of the sickness. In life, we, also, try to self-medicate depression, loneliness, stress, and many other things with some type of replacement to try to suppress them without going to someone who has been through it already to uplift us or say, “I’ve been where you are”. The reason may be, like many women at the table stated, people may just want to be in your business or have their own ulterior motive, but you’ll know though your discernment who’s assigned to you and who is there only to attach themselves to you. Through her description of being in the hospital room and someone deciding to refuse treatment, I visualized a person being connected to an IV. The IV is placed in your vein to pump medicine, fluid, blood, or whatever is needed to make a person better or build what has been repaired. The refusing of care could be what many of the ladies referred to, as not wanting to say, “I need covering while I recover” or disconnecting the “IV” because of who God sent wasn’t who you expected, but what if the person who’s checking on you or asking you how you are feeling, God has already spoken to them concerning you, God has already placed you on their mind and all you have to do was open your mouth and accept treatment.

The last demonstration given, being we had some track stars at the table, was about the 4×4 race or the relay race. Ms. Special Scales explained to us non-track stars what it meant to “get light”. And she described how before you get ready to take off to run the race you have to remove any and everything that would slow you down. Through this race, I envisioned a relay race that never stopped. Yes, there is a finish line in this “track of life” and it’s so much bigger than just your regular track. In the race, at some point, you’re going to need SOMEBODY, whether it’s the sister or brother you’re passing the baton to so you can catch your wind, or the motivators on the sideline encouraging you to keep running, and you can’t forget about your Coach (God), who has given you all the tools during practice (Tests) you need to keep running and through it all, after you catch your wind, be ready to catch the baton to keep running the race. I believe this panel was part of that race. Some of us knew each other and some of us were meeting for the first time, but we all came together with a mindset to show the world WE CAN COVER WHILE THE OTHER RECOVERS. I want to invite you again to come for breakfast and expectancy of a move of God to start your 2019 off with a BANG! You don’t want to miss it. Be Blessed.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

          So, it’s been a while, and I have had what people would call, “writers’ block”.  In the meantime, I have been doing what I do best, being a mom, working a full-time job, and juggling a dating life, or at least trying to, but that’s a whole separate blog alone.  It’s a new year and while others are making resolutions, I’m making declarations. I’ve decided to switch things up, starting with my language and things that I speak over my life and my children’s life. Not saying I haven’t been doing that already, but there are times, I become frustrated with things that are going on in my life from not realizing what I asked God to do in my life or what I declared Him to be out of my mouth. Sometimes, I’m not even reminded of these things until He manifests it right before my very eyes. It may not always be the way I want it to work out, but the fact remains, He Still Answered My Request.

          Along my journey of life, I have learned when you declare God to be something in your life, I just believe He allows things to happen to show us who He is in what we declared. For example, if you believe God to be a healer and declare Him to be just that over every aspect of your life, you cannot become upset or angry when God allows sickness or diseases to attack your body. Question: How will you know Him to be a healer if you’ve never had anything to be healed from? How will you know Him to be a deliverer if He doesn’t give you anything to be delivered from? This is my year to not become angry or fall apart as God proves Himself to me on a day-to-day basis. I am learning to just sit back and rest in His promises. I will, also, rest in the fact that if He allows these things to go on in my life they may seem too hard for me to handle, He knows how strong I am and continues to pull those strengths out of me daily.

          Believe it or not, the two paragraphs above were sitting in my draft folder from January 2, 2017. Wow! I’m amazed at how God is truly showing me, in absolutely every aspect of my life, His love for me and the power in Believing in Him, solely and ultimately. My church, Greater New Hope Church, a.k.a., The Praisedome, started an “I BELIEVE” campaign in 2015, that truly set off a fire in me to totally trust and believe in the plan and promises of God. I was extremely elated when my Pastor informed my church of the theme for this year is “Believing God for Better”. I was more so grateful to God that He was igniting the fire, I previously had, to believe in Him again. It wasn’t that I ever stopped believing in Him, but there were some areas in my life where I basically got to the point of just not asking anymore. I was tired of the disappointments, hurt, and pain surrounding these areas. I grew weary when all I had to do was trust the process.

          I am learning daily how to trust and believe God for better. Why not? If I believe in who He is and what He can do while watching Him make ways in other peoples’ lives, why not believe He can do the same for me. This year is my year for Better and Greater. I am so excited about the things God has set my hands and feet to do in this year. I encourage you to explore this journey with me on Believing God Again. Be Blessed.

LivingOnPurpose_2016_WeeklyCalendar

                      GOD IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!!!!!!! Hello Family. I could just end my post with that, especially for everyone who knows that HE is all that and more, but I’m going to share with you why He is so amazing to me and proves Himself more and more to me on a daily basis. Like I said in the last post, which was the beginning of this 30-day-challenge, life and the way God sets our lives up never ceases to amaze me. (The links to the introduction of the challenge and my first blog for day 1 is posted at the bottom of the page if you would like to read those.) First, I read over day 2-4 of the challenge (the document for the challenge is at the top) and wondered how I would talk about different people who make a difference in my life, being that there are so many people who impact my life on a day to day basis. Some of these people I know personally and some I don’t, but the reality is God knows all and exactly what and who you need to help you move forward or take a step back, if needed. So, I thought I was just going to pass over these days and focus on the next challenge post. Then, the weekend of July 22nd happened. The G.L.O.W. ( The Glorious Ladies of Word) conference happened. The theme was “Live On Purpose: Spiritual C.P.R., Calling, Preparation, Response”. The man and women of God brought words of encouragement straight from heaven.

                     Let’s start with Friday. My children had been on vacation with their uncle since the end of June. (Yes, I was child-free for almost 30 days and enjoyed it a little bit, but started to miss the heck out of them.) I went to pick them up on Friday and headed straight to the conference, but first, I had to stop at my mother’s house to bring some items to her from the job, but in actuality, she just wanted to see the kids. The freeway I decided to take around to her house had construction work being done on it, so instead of me following the signs to take my particular exit, I ended up taking the wrong exit. Then, I tried to turn around to get on the right freeway and ended up on the same wrong freeway, going in the wrong direction, on the HOV Lane, which is a lane used for people who have 1 or more passengers in the vehicle. With HOV lanes, there aren’t as many exits as a regular freeway would have. Exits are, sometimes, miles apart from each other. It took me about fifteen or twenty minutes to, finally, make it to an exit, where I was able to head in the right direction. When I arrived to the conference, Leading Lady had the church set up as a hospital would and the guests were given care packets, which included an arm-band, like the ones you would receive in a hospital. I was asked to be a part of the Intercessory Team for the conference, so, we wore lab coats and one of the ladies came and placed a band on my arm, that I thought were only for the guests. God showed me through me having on the lab coat as one of the workers, doesn’t make me exempt from needing help every now and then when trouble or storms come. I had to realize that I was already frustrated getting there and dealing with other things in my life, but I knew that I needed something from God and it was mostly, PEACE.

                     Then, Saturday morning, four people, along with other members of the church who I consider a part of my growth team, came and spoke Words straight from God Himself. One message still to this day, resonates in my Spirit. The Woman of God came from Luke 5:1-11, where it talked about, after Jesus finished teaching from the boat of Simon, He tells him to throw out his net again, after they were already pulling the nets in. Simon’s response was, “Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: NEVERTHELESS at thy word I will let down the net.” This meant, no matter what God ask me to do, even, if I tried before and failed, if I lost some things trying the first time, NEVERTHELESS, because You asked it of me, I will do it. I cried the entire time as this woman spoke on her purpose, the things she went through in the prior weeks, and how she was still able to stand and give God’s Word to His people. This Word, along with the other messages about purpose and balancing life while fulfilling it, was given to me because God knew what I would have to go through in the following weeks after this Word. He knew exactly what I needed because He is an all-knowing God.

                     In the past two weeks, I have had to go through two very strong storms. One, I am still going through right now as I type this, but I am getting THROUGH because no matter what is going on in my life, no matter what a situation may look like on the outside, no matter how hard I may think this trial is, no matter if, at times, I feel like I’m not going to make it, NEVERTHELESS, I’m still going to worship and praise my God. I’m still going to give Him honor and glory for who He is and not for what He does or what I know He can do. I’m still going to continue to move forward and not look back for or to past things that I have left behind or lost. I’m going to continue to fight for my life and continue to allow God to work through me and get His glory willingly. He won’t have to drag me into my purpose or my destiny. I am ever so grateful to Him for allowing people into my life to change me and redirect me in the right direction when I go astray. I’m thankful that He loves me enough to chase me and trust me with assignments and tests that He knows I will pass for Him to get glory. My heart is full that He would see me and say, “I can use her”, “I can use what I brought her through” or “I can take her through this and she won’t turn her back on me” I’m grateful! So, allow this to be encouragement to keep going no matter what. God knows what you can bear and will never give you a test without answers or instructions first. Be Blessed Family and Be Encouraged. We Can Make It!

Living On Purpose-Introduction to Challenge

Living On Purpose-Day 1