Emotions at an all-time high,
As I sit and question myself as to why?
This feeling of being perplexed,
Not sure as to what is going to happen next.
Looking in the mirror, asking myself how did I let this get this far?
Now I’m gazing at the sky trying to wish upon a star.
Never thought this would be the outcome
of something that started off so great and not apart of the social norm.
Tear-stained pillows and a wounded heart
Oh how I wish I could stop time hit rewind and play it back from the start.
Praying and hoping better days are ahead.
Asking God for strength to not create myself a permanent dirt bed.
Wishing I could take it all back.
If I could I would have stayed focused and never fallen off track.
Now things have spiraled downhill
Because of uncertain fantasies and the thought of delightful thrills.
The same thrills I imagined I wanted has cost me a great love and friend
Now I’m up late nights pondering on how I can make amends.
I can’t look at myself the same due to harboring hurt an a mouth that should have been tamed!
Sorry for all the exacerbated pain
But God had granted me a second chance and I’m choosing life over death learning how to depend on Him to break these cursed chains.
Even if you don’t forgive me I’ll be content
Because I know deep down in my soul I gave it my all and will cherish the memories of our time spent.
I will always love you
But now the time has come that I learn to love myself because it’s most important & overdue.
For Phoenix has a new purpose and she is determined to show the world and allow the God in her to rise to the surface.
Thank you for all you have done and the love you poured into me
Now it’s time I grow into the woman God created me to be.