At the beginning of the year, I made the decision that we were going to move out of the home my children and I currently live in. We were even in the process of buying a house before I was terminated from my job of almost 10 years, which you can read about that experience here. This goal of purchasing a house had to be placed on the back burner with the idea of not receiving a loan because of no job and not enough consistent income. I made up in my mind to take my savings and pay my rent up for six months and solely work on my business. A week later, my landlord of 6 years advises me they are looking to sale the house in June. This gave me less than two months to find somewhere to move, with no job, and no thoughts to how this was going to work out – but I have my business and MY faith. (That’s another blog in itself!). Today while I was filling orders, I was reminded that they asked me to move in the month of June, which for the past few years, has been a transitional month for me and my children. Today I had to realize that this next move is strategic in so many ways like many other big moves in my life. I have lived in this house COMFORTABLY for almost 6 years paying lower than what most would for this size house (FAVOR). I didn’t have to struggle with wondering how to pay this and that many times nor have we had any disconnections (Thank you Lord!). Things were comfortable to the point I never felt as stretched as I do now.
Talking to one of my sisters yesterday helped me realize – what if me living in this home, making preparations to stay in this place longer, stopped my landlords from moving forward with their plans for their future or where they actually needed to be. After my conversation, I heard, “Who are you stagnating in your comfortability?” Who are you holding back from moving forward because you like being in the position you are in? Many times, I’ve stayed in places, emotions, relationships, and “situationships” because they were comfortable to me. There wasn’t much work I had to do to keep it. It was what I knew. I felt staying where I was or with who I was with would cause me not to have to learn anything or anybody new or have to struggle to regain the comfortability I worked hard to obtain. But again, who was I stagnating by staying in those situations? I can even think back to my job. I stayed there because JP Court was what I knew. I didn’t want to learn anything new. I didn’t want to get to know new people. I didn’t want to be in a new position or department. I became comfortable, not only with my position, but with the emotions as well. I stagnated myself. I became comfortable with going back and forth to work feeling the way I felt because I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of even looking for another job and having fear of being uncomfortable in a new place. Is it possible, me staying at that job held up someone else’s blessing of being in a better position than they were in or even my previous coworkers? What if me staying too long made the environment worse?
Of course, when I think of this, the story of Jonah comes to mind. Jonah was told by God to go somewhere where he did not want to go. He decided to run in the opposite direction. God sends a storm which not only effects Jonah, but it effects the people he was on the ship with. This causes Jonah to be thrown overboard just so the others could make it through the storm safely. Basically, whether we want to admit it or not, decisions that we make, not only affects ourselves individually, but it can also affect the people around and/or connected to us. Last Thursday, in bible study, my Pastor spoke on Wisdom. I realized through that lesson, I may be praying for the wrong things in this situation I am currently going through. I have been asking God for the details of what to do next and direction on where to go next when I should have been asking for wisdom to make the right decisions for myself and my children. This past month, God has shown me how He truly takes care of His children. Not that I’ve been able to handle everything on my own always, but in my flesh mind, I know that having a job and steady income is what we as humans can depend on to make ends meet. For the last month, I’ve solely leaned and depended on God to take care of me and my children. With knowing God is going to supply every need according to His riches, knowing He is going to never leave me nor forsake me, knowing I can do all things through Him that strengthens me, knowing He has plans to prosper and not to harm me, knowing He is the giver of a peace that surpasses all understanding, I don’t have to know the details. I just follow His voice, ask and believe He will grant me the wisdom and strength to make the right decisions for my life and my children.
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