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MY TESTIMONY-GOD HAS DONE IT AGAIN

First, I have to say, God is absolutely AMAZING & FAITHFUL. He does just what He says He’ll do. He’s never short in His promises. When I declared “Today is going to be a GREAT day” on yesterday, I never fathomed what God was going to do for me. I’m still in amazement and in awe of who He is in my life. I love God! He is EVERYTHING to me and I am FOREVER His servant. Not for what He does only but for who HE is.

Second, God has revealed soooo much to me about myself in the last four years, I’ll never be able to fully explain it. I learned who I truly was in Him and He strategically placed many people in my life to keep me going and growing in Him and through my VISION. So, it was somewhat hard for me to leave my last job at the Tax Office because I knew I was comfortable. I was also working towards being a Lead Clerk, but there, you had to really be in good with the right people to be promoted.

I left there and went to work with my mom in the Justice Courts, where I had volunteered periodically since high school. Little did I know, 3 months after starting the job, my children’s father would pass leaving me heartbroken and somewhat confused about what God was actually doing in my life. At the same time I felt relieved. My children’s father was my entire life. I loved him with everything in me, but losing him drew me even more closer to God. Also, at the new job I was able to take the time I needed to truly heal and grieve at my leisure. I wouldn’t have been able to do that at the Tax Office.

As time went on, I began to learn almost every aspect of the Courts. I worked hard with truly no intention of ever being promoted maybe for years to come. I knew I would be qualified because of what I knew and my work ethics, but set my mind and heart to believe I wouldn’t be able to be promoted. Not only because the current Supervisors didn’t plan on retiring for years, but because people would believe my mother, who is the chief clerk, would only give me the position because I was her daughter, not because I knew the job and worked hard at it.

In the previous school year, Edwin, Jr. starts kindergarten and begins having issues EVERYDAY. He is later diagnosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Behavior. You can read more about that process in the following link: https://thevisionblogger.com/2019/02/07/yesterday-was-tough/ During the school year, I had a bit of relief because there were people in place at his school to help redirect him if need be, being that the medicine only did so much.

The summer didn’t start off so great. He was getting ready to be removed from the summer program. Just days ago, we started a new medication along with what he’s already taking. It looks like things are much better for now and I believe God is working on that as well. I’m grateful and relieved because in two weeks I will be starting a new position as the new “Traffic Department Supervisor” in another Justice of the Peace Court.

I was interviewed along with others for the position and found myself just happy to even be considered for the opportunity to have an interview. I started the process with the mindset, “God, if it’s for me, it’s for me. If it’s not, it’s not and I’m okay with that.” But God knew what I wanted and He knew exactly what I needed to provide fully for myself and my children. Even after having what was intended for my children be stolen by someone who was connected to their father, God has replaced that and more.

Things I’ve learned through this process:

  • I will never underestimate what God can and will do for me. He has a Will and it’s all I want.
  • I will never underestimate myself or count myself out and make myself believe outside of what God has promised. He is faithful and if He promised it, I dare not allow the enemy or even myself to make me believe His promise won’t be manifested.
  • I will never apologize for what God has placed on the inside of me to fulfill work in the Kingdom and the World. I love me and the way God has made and molded me. I am yet and still on the potter’s wheel and will never be unreachable or unteachable.

I am a witness. God never puts more on you than you can bear. If He allows you to go through it, He’s equipped you with what you need to stand any test or trial. I am ELATED to learn what’s next to come in this journey of life. This short story had to be told to help someone understand and witness through me that God is strategic in everything he does. He has a plan. Don’t be distracted by the pain and short detours. Don’t allow them to make you miss the moment God is using to show you what He wants to do in your life. You may not even understand it all, but find solitude in the fact that He understands it all. He has a plan and purpose. He’s GOD! My prayer DAILY is for someone to be blessed in what God has taken me through, favored me with, and endowed me to do with my hands. Check out my previous post as well with my top 13 Motivational Quotes for moving forward here: https://thevisionblogger.com/2019/06/20/motivational-quotes-for-moving-forward/

Be Blessed.

“Why Am I Single?”

06ed372c26120b53cf55548973fd7263(1)6445212500494139446.jpgThere was a gentleman in my inbox this past week and one of his first questions were, “So why is such a beautiful woman like yourself single?” I answered with, “No reason really.” It’s funny how people often ask this question when getting to know a person and I’m still trying to figure out what is the actual reason behind asking this. I posed the same question to many of the singles’ groups I’m in on Facebook. I had hundreds of answers and the top ones were, “I refuse to settle”, “I haven’t been found yet”, “I haven’t found the one yet”, “I’m working on loving myself”, “I am working on finishing up my degree and starting my career”, I’m focusing on my kids”, or the famous, “It’s my choice”. When I became single, I believed God was punishing me. What I, then, started to do was try to make a relationship happen on my own, accepting just about any and everything. I had several prospects hanging around so much so I rarely felt lonely. Of course, those prospects only got me so far when I knew in my heart what I truly want in a long-term relationship.

When given this assignment to speak on this topic, I went to google to find blogs and other writings about what the Bible says about singleness. Most of them spoke on how singleness is a gift from God and there were many scriptures given but I Corinthians 7:25-40 was the best description I could find if I wanted to have this question answered through the Bible. In 1st Corinthians, Paul is the writer of this book. The title in the NIV version is “Concerning The Unmarried”. To me when I read this specific section, Paul stated it is better for a person to stay how they are, as in being single. He basically started to talk about all of these different things involving a single person, as well as, a married person. He was, ultimately, trying to spare the people to whom he was writing to. Out of this portion, verses 32 through 35 stuck out to me the most. “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” The last part just stated to me, choose what you will, but he’s admitting this advice to help them keep their devotion to God. I believe with Paul being a man and knowing a bit about the troubles of the world, he suggested it was better to remain single and if you were married, act as if you weren’t in regards to your relationship with God. I can ultimately relate to his reasons why.

I know, myself, in a new relationship, you swear I just bought a new phone or something. I put almost all of my energy into getting to know him. I spend as much time as I can, physically in person and talking and texting throughout the day and night, which is sometimes hard with having three young people under you all the time but that’s a whole separate subject. My last boyfriend and I met, reconnected, formed, what I thought was a solid friendship, and became a couple all over again in a matter of 3 years. During that time, I had, also, started going back to school, the boys started football, and baby girl became a cheerleader. So, I had all of that on top of having this new, blissful relationship. One thing that didn’t change was my service to God. I didn’t miss opportunities to minister or attend church services but you bet I was rushing out of whatever setting I was in with the quickness to either see him or talk to him. As I remembered this, I’m now wondering, when did I rush home to spend time with God during that same time? When did I hurry up and get to my car so I can talk to Him, as I do now that we’ve broken up? Through this lesson, I’ve learned where I’m slipping as far as relationships. Just because I’m in a relationship with a man, this shouldn’t mean I lose my relationship with God. I believe that’s what Paul was stating as far as a single person and a married person. So I questioned myself, if I’m concerning myself with worldly things as an unmarried woman with a boyfriend, how can God trust me to keep my relationship with Him, if He sends my husband right now.

“A woman’s heart must be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him to find her.” -Maya Angelou

So, the initial question was, “why am I single?” My answer would be, “because God needs me to be”. Many people look at singleness as some type of disease or a process God takes you through as punishment to think about the things you’ve done in life. I think singleness is a gift and needs to be embraced, but I feel it’s sometimes hard to embrace something that makes you feel as if you’ve been placed on a back burner or just totally forgotten about. Then, it’s also hard to not long for something that you’ve felt before. It’s an amazing feeling, for me, to have that one person that you can go to and talk to about your day or anything that’s bothering you or just feel a hug or touch from them or a gentle kiss. It’s hard to not want that for yourself forever. Even though sometimes what you have had in the past started out as what you would want to see forever, but ended in heartbreak, it doesn’t stop you from actually wanting that “real thing” that you had in the beginning or, maybe even, totally opposite than what you had as far as the heartbreak is concerned. So, what I would say is singleness is used to build your relationship with yourself and Christ. Maya Angelou said it best, “A woman’s heart must be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him to find her.” Now, that doesn’t mean that I am going to hide out at home. I’m still going to go out, have fun, and enjoy myself and time with friends and loved ones. If God chooses to throw a man in there somewhere, I’ll be open to the idea of God allowing me to have what I desire, but through my deeper relationship in Him, I’ll know when it’s Him sending him or me just “making it happen”. Be Blessed.

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“Dear Love, Thanks..Again” By Ebony D. Miles

Dear Love,

Thanks..again.

For getting my hopes up..again.

For Making me believe in you..again.

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For Allowing me to open up to you…again.

All for what?

To get hurt? Again and again?

I’m on the brink of being done with you.. again.

But this heart just won’t allow me to give up on you…again.

My body Will still long for you..again.

But Why? What did i do to you for you to hurt me..again?

Here i am questioning myself..again.

Wondering if I’m not woman enough…again.

Wondering if I’m even capable of being loved..again.

But all i have is visions of what could be.

Visions of what I’m destined to have.

Visions of what i believe i deserve

But i wonder do i truly deserve it..again?

So thanks love..again.

For fooling me once again.

For bringing the tears..again.

Asking God to hear my cry…again.

Thinking He must be tired of me about this..again.

So.. thanks love..again.

Sincerely,

~The Vision Blogger~

“Finding My Niche:Motivation Through Vision”

Hello Family! 2019 started out a little shaky, but is turning out to be life-changing.  On my previous blog post, I talked about the last Vision Party I hosted in connection with my church sister, Rhoshonda Adkison and her ministry, Daddy’s Girls, which targets teenagefb_img_15555977293928361349420801566868.jpg girls. During the process of pushing the event, she gave me the name “The Vision Blogger” and, since then, I have ran with it. Over a month ago, my pastor, Dr. Robert Bailey, Jr. and the “Superwoman” herself, Tina Armstrong, gave a “Brand Identity” class to “help ministries build their brands and vitalize their visions for effective Kingdom Building”. They gave the do’s and don’ts of branding, how to brand yourself and your ministry, identifying your identity, and the keys to vitalizing your vision. This meeting, literally, set off a fire in me to take “The Vision Blogger” so much further than just blogging. I started throwing out all kinds of ideas to push my Vision. At the beginning of the class, we wrote on a piece of paper answering the question, “Who Am I”. I wrote all these words I felt identified with who I am and knowing this and ultimately what I am standing for was only the beginning of knowing exactly where I was going in formulating the plan to get to that destination.20190303_0650184069215336914716128.jpg

Once the fire was lit, I felt like I shot off a rocket. I got in contact with many people to get a logo done and my sister, my assistant, had shirts made. I had a photo shoot to show my new logo and my family altogether. Recently, my name has been given to other bloggers in the city and they have given me information and opportunities to push my vision even further. A conversation I had with one of those talented, successful bloggers, LaTonya White, helped me to really think about the direction I wanted to take “The Vision Blogger” in. She started to ask me about my niche, she asked me if I was copy written, and if I had my name trademarked. These, along with other things we discussed, I didn’t know I was entitled to do as a blogger. On the same night, I listened to a Facebook Live I watch weekly done by Lady Demetria Jackson, CEO of Me2 Enterprises, which is based around motivating, mentoring and life-coaching. I joined at the end of the video where she asked her viewers, “What is your real reason for asking God to do something?” As she talked, I started to ask myself, not only about my own personal prayers, but I thought about what my sole purpose for becoming “The Vision Blogger was. What do I actually want God to do with my vision? Why am I doing what I do? Is it for personal gain? Why? I sat at my desk researching on getting copy written, then, trademarked. That same night, I laid in my bed and thought about my questions I had for myself even more. I believe I needed to answer, for sure, what is my purpose for doing this.

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I started blogging a few years ago, during a pretty dark time in my life. I, basically, wanted to help somebody else through what I was going through and learning through that time, being that I felt my life was already on a billboard. In the “Brand Identity” class, my Pastor gave excerpts from his upcoming book called “How To Prophetically Pray On Purpose”. There were two things he gave that stuck with me since then. The first thing was, “Every vision comes with a valley. Everybody is not assigned to it. Everybody can’t handle it.” My blog is part of my vision and it was formed through the valley I was experiencing. There were so many people who helped me through that hard time and there were some who found themselves, unknowingly, not being able to discuss what I was going through. I was extremely alright with that because for a long time I could barely talk about it myself. All in all, talking about it to who would listen, who could handle what I was a going through, is what got me here. The other thing he gave was, “Don’t let the valley talk more than your vision. The valley can’t be the spokesman.” What I went through did push me to want to push vision and have vision for myself, but when my pastor said this, it helped me understand, it will never define me or define where I’m going. I have grown so much since then, at the same time learning so much about myself. The valley was a stepping stone towards VISION. The valley is not where I’m going.

 “I PUSH VISION!!!!”

When Ms. White asked me what my niche was, I told her I didn’t have just one specific thing I talk about in my blogs. So, from the idea of not wanting to limit myself to one thing, my niche is, “Motivation through Vision”. Vision is my focus. Motivation and inspiration is what my ultimate goal is for the people I come in contact with or who connect to me. My goal will be achieved daily through everyday conversation, posts on social media, this website. I want to inspire and motivate in everything that I do and I feel that goal is tied to my love for writing. Not only do I want to always push vision and have Vision parties where I get people together to cut out pictures and inspirational quotes and paste them on a board, but I want to give people tools to reach those same goals that they put on this board. I want to push people’s visions. I want to show the world other people’s visions they believe in while, at the same time, pushing my own. My vision is for everybody to have vision. My vision is for the others who have vision already to keep their ambition and momentum to do the work. I feel like everyday you should be working towards your goals and dreams. That work can be going back to school to better your education, working harder towards a job promotion, looking for a better job, budgeting yourself to manage what you take care of, and, even, starting your  own business. Everyone has something they want to do that will help them be better or do better or have a ministry God has placed in your heart that targets people in need. Everyone has vision. Sometimes it’s clouded by what you see in front of you, but we all have it. I believe it takes all of us to push each other to do just that, not only for us to be better, but for the world to see God’s Glory in all of us through His Kingdom. God builds us as we build His Kingdom through Visions He has placed in all of us.

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“How Could A Dad Break Your Heart” by Octavia Jones

 

I’m so messed up right now. My dad is gone and I don’t know how. Receiving the news hurt me so. It’s so hard that it pierced my soul. Daddy left and didn’t say bye. Will there be another time that I can say “Hi?” I know that crying won’t being him back, but he was always there when I lacked. Losing my Daddy hurt from the start. Now, you tell me how could a Dad break your heart.

~Octavia Jones

“In My Feelings” by Rhoshonda Adkison

There’s an overcast over my heart and the clouds are filling with the emotions I feel in this life. Many storms have rolled in from all directions and they are now targeting my most valuable possession. My heart. My heart is feeling pain today that I can’t even put into words. I want to empty them out but there seems to be a blockage that’s keeping me from the flow that I am used to functioning in. So I go for a drive, piano music playing but the overcast seems to be following me everywhere I go. I wanna run to him and pour my soul out but he’s preoccupied with his own cares to even see the clouds forming in my eyes. I’m just about to erupt but I decide to keep driving. I’ve come to a place where the water is moving so briskly, but so are the clouds. They seem to know exactly how I am feeling on the inside. I want to release the moisture building in the corners of my eyes but who will hear the words my tears are speaking. Each tear is a word of release so that I can breathe again. So my heart can live again. These tears are a release of the aching in my heart. Releasing the heaviness of this day. Winds of comfort, blow the overcast away and allow a ray of hope that it won’t always be this way. Overcast.
~RAdkison~
Daddy’s Girl

“Ur Eyez” By Anonymous

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I looked into 100 pair of eyes today and my day still didn’t start until I looked into yours. I have sang on many stages, met a million people, signed thousands of autographs, took several pictures but until I came to this point. The point where I could smell your scent. That very scent that draws me to you like a magnet. Until I came to this point where I could hear your whisper. That very sound that you make when you are lying in my arms. Until I came to this point where I can feel your touch. That very touch that sends chills all over my body. That touch that makes holding your hand feel like the first time we made love. Until I came to this point where I could gaze deep into your eyes.

They say your eyes are the gateway to your soul. So our souls connected on a level that no man can understand. My definition of true love is your souls recognition to its counterpart in another. And since the first time I looked into your eyes I knew you were the one. You are that very one that was taken from me to complete me. I knew you were the the one that is the STRENGTH in my weakness, JOY in my pain, PEACE in my anger. You complete me! Without you its like I’m missing half a brain. Meaning I can still function but I’m limited. Maybe you don’t understand, I can breathe but can’t move. See without u I’m incomplete.

I looked into 100 pair of eyes today and my day still didn’t start until I looked into yours.
For you are the one that makes time speed up when I’m doing things that I really don’t wanna do like going to work, school or just chillen at home all alone. You are the one that makes time stop, actually it ceases to exist when I hear your voice. With just one touch you take me to places that I’ve never been. Intimacy on another dimension if that makes any since. Yes it does ya see… ecstasy was not fantasy it was reality. I was not sleeping nor was I dreaming. I was awake but reality was so orchestrated like a beautiful symphony. You would have thought that it was all in my mind but it all started in your eyes.

I looked into 100 pair of eyes today and my day still didn’t start until I looked into yours.
For in your eyes I see truth. The things you feel but don’t say. The small lies you tell so that I don’t worry. The hurt you feel but don’t know how to express it. I told you that you complete me and we are one. So no matter what you say with your mouth your eyes never lie. In your eyes I see when u pull away, I see when you have given up or go all in. They say your eyes are the gateway to your soul. And our souls have connected on a level that no man can understand. So before tonight ends turn around so I can do it all again!!!

~Anonymous

“All The Things I Couldn’t Tell Him” By Ego Slayer

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He asked me, “what are you not telling me”
I replied “nothing my dear”
Telling him the truth was something I feared
I decided on that day
To show him how I felt
So I let him undress my soul
And I let him walk on in

He stood inside my soul
Dark and cold
Pictures that used to be filled with life
Laid broken on the floor
The good memories I had, were replaced with pain and hurt
The heart that was once big and bold
Stood locked away in a lit bubble
He walked towards the bubble
And he glanced inside
It was one gleam of light
That caught him in the eyes
It was a memory of us.
The first time we said hello
The warmth and care in his voice
Kept that light lit for so long
He never knew that when she told him she loved him, it wasn’t with her heart but with her soul.
As he slowly came to realize, what her soul barred. He started looking around, and saw more pieces of him in there.
She had decorated her soul with his childhood memories that brought him both joy and pain. She built walls with his horror stories, so he’d never have to deal with them again.
She made a lock and key with his secrets, she buried them deep inside. She built a new heart with his kisses, and that is where her being resides.
He cleaned up and set up some things, hoping the light would spread. He turned around and closed the door and this is what he said.

“I know why you love me. I know how. I know when. But the fact that you love me with your soul, we will never end.”
All I could do was smile with comfort and relief, because all the things I’ve never told him, he knew and I never had to say a thing.

NamaSlay

~Ego Slayer

“The Unveiling of Her” By Ariel Mond

My my my, where should I begin Shaped in iniquity born into sin. Father was never around how I wanted him to be & for a long time I blamed myself was blind and couldn’t see. Didn’t feel love from the woman that gave me life. Her & I never got along it was always harsh words, built up hostility, & strife. Feeling like the black sheep of my family, Didn’t surprise me when I ended up in the penitentiary. See I never knew how to properly love Really started to believe there was no God up above. See I was the young girl that was built like a grown woman Which made me desirable in the eyes of grown men & back to back they started coming. No self love or worth didn’t realize the value within myself. Reasons why I allowed guys to use me sexually & place me back on a shelf. Lost & lonely in a cruel cruel world Not knowing or realizing the love I truly deserved. Didn’t care how I acted, cared less on how I spoke Almost seen my last days off some hard laced dope. Raped by who I thought was my sister’s friend During it I really wish my life would end. Withdrew from my family & was always depressed I made myself sick; started having health issues because I was down in the dumps beyond stressed. Because I had so much self hate & built up insecurities I gave birth three times for three different men putting up with all the cussing damning & pure foolery. Accepted lies, disrespect, & all types of abuse Started doing drugs & drinking alcohol daily misuse. My heart was empty & cold that’s when I immediately decided to put true love on hold. First baby daddy held a gun to my head daring to blow my brains out is what he said. He left his mark on me with his hand print he was the first hit to my heart which left a major dent. Second baby daddy allowed his family to disrespect me as the mother of his child. So because I didn’t know how to love properly I attempted to poison him, but it was very mild. Third baby daddy chased me for two months before I agreed to a date. I truly thought I had found my soulmate. Little did I know it was all a facade. He ended up in prison & I found myself playing Bonnie to his Clyde risking it all for a fraud. He was the type that if he couldn’t have me no one else could. I spent many restless nights staring out my window waiting to unload the wood. When I finally was set free I vowed to find myself & walk into who I was created to be. New city new state Looking forward to starting over with a clean slate. Started visiting a place I grew up in. I knew there I was able to forgive myself of all my undesirable sins. Then one day I met this man who captured my soul. With his voice and passion in his words I started to feel whole. I began to feel at peace. Everything I was blaming myself for in my past had cease. I had connected to my confidant, protector, what I thought was an amazing man. I supported him in all his endeavors. I was his biggest fan. Daily conversations & chemistry at its best. My heart beat matched his; I could feel it thru his chest. Every time we saw one another it was an instant attraction. I felt like a giddy school girl who just had her first kiss you could see it in my reaction. I had fallen in love with a man who captured my soul spiritually. A man I could learn from about life but most importantly biblically. As time progressed we started to drift apart. I wondered why, come to find out another female was tugging at his heart. The same way he use to look at me with fire in his eye, That flame had been put out & I was left high & dry. He no longer found the desire to love or help me grow. I was thrown back into the river facing backlash from an upstream flow. Unfortunately I had lost my confidant, but it was bound to happen. See the man I fell in love with so happened to be married. Secrets of us was the most heaviest burden I ever carried. Yes yes we both knew our relationship was wrong, But the feelings I had for him were uncontrollable & so strong. My connector had moved on not only with his wife, but with this other female. The feelings he proclaimed to have for me that ship had sailed. Now, back to this cruel cruel world lost, Promising to find myself by any means necessary, no matter the cost.

~Ariel Mond~

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“Love, In A Sense” By Ebony D. Miles

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The touch it gives places me in a space of comfort and safety when I am neither content nor protected.

I lay my sight upon its face with eyes filled with pureness and generosity, which can only be given by a true lover or a wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

As the well-known song is played bursting with ready-made promises, I defend its character instantly and put my trust in these common lyrics that tend to attach themselves to my heart like stitches, binding the wounds made by another.

As my tears flood my ears, like the lyrics, feelings of hope and peace wipe them away, giving a sense I thought I lost.

The taste of my sweetness on the lips of this imagination displays willingness to devour all of me with no limits, giving the complacency of love to take a good grip.

With all these senses, I gain remorse and shame, despair and agony, resentment and anger, which cost me my ambition, my confidence, and nearly my life.

This love gave me sense. Sense enough to live, even if it was just a fantasy.

~Ebony D. Miles, The Vision Blogger~